InStyle.com is teaming up with Style Me Pretty's editor and founder, Abby Larson, to answer your most pressing questions on all things weddings and engagements. Whether you are having trouble picking a wedding theme or have a question about etiquette, email Abby at email@example.com and check back here for her answer every two weeks.
The best way to avoid this problem is to make sure he or she knows what kind of ring you are coveting. Pinterest boards are great, but so is simply telling him. Because here's the deal—he wants you to love it. And buying a ring for the person you adore is probably one of the most nerve-racking and scary moments in a person's life. If he or she has a little guidance, you'll take some of that stress right off their shoulders.
Of course, sometimes, despite your best efforts, your other half goes rogue. Mine did. I wanted a platinum cushion-cut diamond and he got me a yellow gold round solitaire, way before gold was considered cool. I was sad when I looked down, but didn't have the heart to tell him. A few weeks later, I caught a glimpse of my ring in a reflection and everything changed. I realized that he chose this ring especially for me, based on the person he loved so much. And he was right—it was perfect. It just took a little time for me to realize it, too. Eleven years later, it's my most treasured piece of jewelry not only because I think it's breathtaking, but also because I know that the moment he saw it, he knew it was the one.
So what if after a few weeks you still aren't head over heels? Well, there are a few things you can do. The first one is to find out where he purchased the ring and then inquire direction (rather than making him do it): what the store's returns and exchange policies are. Believe it or not, most big box type stores allow for a similar return policy that they do on other items—30 or 60 days for a refund or 90 days for store credit. Even the fancy brands like Tiffany and Cartier have some form of an exchange policy. Bottom line? Do your homework and make sure that homework happens before 30 days pass for safety. If your ring was custom made, chances are it's yours for life so maybe consider a retreat to get to know it better or at the very least, take it out for a date or two.
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Now, the hard part isn't figuring out the logistics about whether or not you can return your ring, the tough stuff is in breaking the news to the person who gave it to you. But ladies (and gents), listen closely: give your other half a little bit of credit. While there may be a little dent to the ego, this person is in it for the long haul with you and more than anything, wants you to be happy—with him, with your life, with something as sweet and simple as your engagement ring. So take him out to his favorite restaurant, crack open a bottle of wine, and just fess up. It may not be easy, but it won't be the first time that you have to work through something that might be a little bit uncomfortable with the one you love.