Wedding Etiquette: 5 Things You Should Never Ask Your Bridesmaids to Do
Being asked by your best friend to be her bridesmaid is a huge honor for every woman. Unfortunately, as the wedding planning progresses, some brides turn into bridezillas and come up with the most outrageous demands for their bridal party. That’s why we reached out to professional bridesmaid Jen Glantz, founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, who has pretty much seen and heard it all, to get her insight on the five things you should under no circumstance ask your bridesmaids to do.
1. Change their physical appearance.
Whether it's getting in shape or dyeing their hair a certain color, asking your bridesmaids to change the way they look is an absolute no-no.
“I've heard beauty requests like: the bridesmaids have to lose X number of pounds or grow their hair X number of inches,” says Glantz. “It's important for the bride to remember that she's not asking her bridesmaids to look like they belong in a beauty pageant. So that also means no mandatory spray tans.”
2. Attend a bachelorette party that makes the bridesmaid feel uncomfortable.
News flash: not every woman enjoys the sight of half-naked strippers busting a move in a bar in Vegas and she shouldn’t be punished for that or forced to attend any kind of pre-wedding celebration that includes said "entertainment."
According to Glantz, the bachelorette party should be optional and, yes, brides, that includes your bridesmaids. “Being a bridesmaid isn't code word for being the bride's personal assistant,” she adds. Which means, you can’t expect your bridal party to follow you wherever you go.
3. Drink too many shots or drink at all.
“There shouldn't be a heavy obligation to make anyone feel like they need to get drunk and rowdy at the bachelorette party. Don't push the mixed drinks or drinking straight from the bottle,” says Glantz.
After all, we’re not in college anymore.
4. Flirt with a groomsmen when the bridesmaid isn't interested.
True—weddings are very romantic and you may be tempted to play Cupid but try to resist the urge to force your BFF to make out with your fiancé’s friends.
“Even if you're hoping to set your friend up with the best friend of the groom, you can't force them to hit it off or to make her flirt with him if she's not into it,” explains Glantz.
5. Get in between messy situations with family members.
Trust us on this one—there will be a lot of uncomfortable, awkward, and straight-up stressful situations between you and your family in the months before the wedding. For some reason, when it comes to weddings, everyone’s feelings get very easily offended even if it’s a matter of choosing the color of the napkins.
“Try not to ask your bridesmaids to tell something serious to the mother of the bride or the groom on your behalf. Don't make them the middle woman for any family drama,” she suggests.
And always remember—your wedding will last one day, your friends are forever.