While explaining the dating app Tinder to his studio audience on Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel uttered what may be the understatement of the month: "Some of the profiles, like some of the people, are unusual." So the host invited three-time Grammy Award winner Kelly Clarkson to add some much needed nuance in the form of song to several awkwardly phrased, minimalist descriptions.

It's a major testament to the singer that she was able to turn the words "Just looking for someone to take me to a Celine Dion concert. I'm 5 [foot] 9" into a ballad full of earnest hope and longing.

"I have a foot fetish and willing to pay for your mani-pedi nails and worship your feet" became a rousing pop number that could easily have played over a makeover montage in an '80s movie, while "I'm at the Westin in Fort Lauderdale" became a heart-wrenching country number.

Clarkson channeled her inner Ethel Merman for "I'm going to China for a month. I'm looking to slip it into something before I leave. Swipe right," before ending her brilliant set with a gospel rendition of "I love my hairless cat, baking cookies, and smoking blunts." Someone get this woman a fourth Grammy. Click the video above to hear the hits!