All the Things in Girls That Made No Sense
I’m a huge fan of HBO’s Girls—like I’m John Legend to Chrissy Teigen—all of me loves all of HBO’s Girls. Unconditional love aside, I’ll be the first to admit that the series isn’t always super realistic. As a millennial who’s lived in N.Y.C. (Brooklyn, in particular) for the majority of Girls’ six-season run, I can attest that warehouse parties are almost never exciting, fall and winter are very real seasons, and an errant freelance assignment is not enough to pay your rent.
I love you, Girls, but sometimes you don't make a whole lot of sense.
Scroll down below to explore the series' most major points of confusion. (Spoilers, obviously, ahead.)
Hannah’s Problematic Pregnancy Timeline
SUMMER: (season 6, episode 1) Hannah’s learning to surf in the Hamptons when she meets Paul Louis—this is when we are led to believe Grover is conceived.
STILL SUMMER: (season 6, episode 4) Hannah learns of her pregnancy.
STILL SUMMER: (season 6, episode 9) Hannah accepts a job “teaching the Internet” upstate, is very pregnant.
STILL SUMMER: (season 6, episode 10) We’re told five months have passed. Grover the baby has arrived, and he is presumably a couple months old. Hannah’s still wearing tank tops outside.
Hannah’s Job “Teaching the Internet”
First off, girl never completed her MFA. I’m no expert, but isn’t a graduate degree sort of a pre-requ when it comes to university-level teaching? Perhaps an exception would be made if she were, say, J.K. Rowling, but as far as we’ve seen, Hannah’s had moderate success freelancing and a short stint writing branded content for GQ—no literary empire to her name just yet.
Second, what on earth does it mean to “teach the Internet”? There’s a reason blogging is so ubiquitous—it’s easy to do and accessible to almost everyone with a Wi-Fi network. College students, in particular, are incredibly well versed in the workings of the world wide web, so this position makes literally zero sense.
Neither Elijah nor Hannah has been steadily employed throughout the series, yet the spacious apartment they magically afford to rent in the expensive part of Brooklyn has never been a financial issue. Same can be said for literally every character whose home we are welcomed into throughout the series. But the crème de la crème, of course, is Hannah’s palatial upstate home.
Not only are teachers notoriously underpaid, but we can pretty much guarantee that Hannah has no savings to speak of—PLUS, she just had a baby (a.k.a. there’s a new person for her to financially support). How can she possibly afford to live in a swanky multi-floor home in upstate New York? SHE. CAN’T.
Does No One Have Student Loans?!?
Is this somehow not the center of every twentysomething's daily conversations?
Adam & Hannah’s One-Episode Reunion
In season 6, episode 8, Girls’ will-they-won’t-they couple gives it one last go. Adam pleas for Hannah to let him help raise her baby, with little to no argument she agrees, and chapter 434345 of their relationship begins. Of course, it’s not quite the fairytale ending viewers have secretly hoped for—Adam’s still dating Jessa, Hannah’s baby is the product of a one-night stand with a surf instructor, and Hannah and Adam have enough unsavory history to write the sequel to Gone Girl.
For one perfect little episode, it seems all has been forgotten and they’re ready to start over, together—until they’re not. The fantasy ends abruptly; Adam returns to Jessa, Hannah to single motherhood.
As a major Hannah-Adam proponent, this episode broke my heart, but more than that, it confused the hell out of me. Jessa takes Adam back without a fight—who does that? And Hannah and Adam just pretend that they’re okay walking away when we all know (c’mon, you do) that they belong together, no matter how dysfunctional their relationship can be.
It’s ALWAYS Summer
This has been accepted as a fact of the Girls universe for the past six seasons, and I just don’t understand.
All of Those Dream Sequence-Like One-Off Episodes
Hannah plays naked ping-pong and sleeps with Patrick Wilson for 48 hours.
Marnie and Charlie reunite for one strange night in season 5.
Matthew Rhys shows Hannah his penis.
Not only are these scenarios incredibly unrealistic and weird, but why aren’t they revisited or referenced throughout the series. If Patrick Wilson’s character hadn’t delivered Hannah’s pregnancy news, I would’ve assumed these instances were all legitimate dream sequences.
Shoshanna’s Getting Married?
1. Why wasn’t Ray at Shosh’s engagement party?
2. We saw her the episode prior and there was no fiancé to speak of.
Clearly, plotlines are not progressing in real time, but seriously, how could enough time have passed for her to fall in love and get engaged? By the final season, Shosh is the most practical of the series’ regulars, this spontaneous engagement totally doesn’t jibe with her character’s business-minded ambitions.