Megan Fox is opening up about getting fired from the Transformers movie franchise.
“That was absolutely the low point of my career,” Fox, 31, said in an interview with Cosmopolitan UK. “But without—‘that thing,’ I wouldn’t have learned as quickly as I did. All I had to do was apologize—and I refused. I was so self-righteous at 23, I couldn’t see [that] it was for the greater good. I really thought I was Joan of Arc.”
In 2009, Fox was fired from Transformers: Dark of the Moon and was replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Her exit came shortly after Fox told British magazine Wonderland that director Michael Bay “wants to be like Hitler on his sets” and that he’s “a nightmare to work for.”
In an interview with GQ in 2011, Bay explained that Steven Spielberg—one of the film’s executive producers—was the one who gave the order to fire Fox. “And you know, the Hitler thing. Steven said, ‘Fire her right now.’ ”
“It hurt me and a lot of other people,” the mother of three continued. “However, that darkness that descended caused enormous and brisk spiritual growth. Once I realized I [had] brought it on myself, it was an invaluable learning experience, looking back on it.”
During a chat with Extra in September, Fox revealed that getting back into shape after baby number three—she gave birth to son Journey River in August 2016—took a lot of work. “I worked out really hard,” the star admitted. “This time, it was a struggle for me. There was a lot of walks and very long runs. It was awful.”
And having three sons at home—including 14-month-old Journey, 3½-year-old Bodhi Ransom and 5-year-old Noah Shannon—means finding time for workouts isn’t easy.
“I haven’t slept in almost a year. There’s not one night that I have slept through the night,” Fox said. “I’m still breastfeeding and [Journey] wakes up all the time, and then the other two come and wake me up and get in bed also.”
The actress also revealed that her husband Brian Austin Green wants them to try to have a girl, but Fox isn’t quite as enthusiastic about it. “I’m not [pining for a girl],” she continued. “I know Brian would like a girl, but they seem much more challenging if I’m any indication.”
This Story Originally Appeared On People