The Best Quote From Last Night's Game of Thrones Episode References a Hilarious Tweet
Warning: Spoilers ahead if you have not yet watched Season 7, Episode 5.
After last week's fiery battle, we weren't sure how tonight's episode, "Eastwatch," would play out. How would Cersei handle her massive defeat? Would Jon finally bend his knee? Oh yeah, and is Jaime dead or alive? Read below for a recap on everything that went down, and see our favorite quote of the night.
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First things first: Jaime's alive! The opening scene of the episode confirms that Jaime is still with us as Bronn (Jerome Flynn) heroically drags him from the water. "You could've killed me," says Jaime, and Bronn (and us!) almost can't believe what is coming out of his mouth. The only reason Jaime is alive is because Bronn pushed him out of the way from being burnt to a crisp by Drogon. You could be a little more grateful, Jaime. And oh yeah, Bronn still wants his gold.
Next, we see Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) on what's left of the battlefield, assessing the damage his queen did. The bodies of horses and men are strewn about, ashen and burnt to a crisp, and it's a pretty grim scene (especially with the Dothraki scavenging the dead for weapons). Dany (Emilia Clarke) then addresses the last living Lannister army and requests that they—you guessed it—bend the knee and join her team.
But no worries if they're not interested, they can just die instead. A few immediately drop to the ground, while most stand their ground. Drogon lets them have it, and if we could choose the dragon screeching at them as the quote of the night, we totally would.
With that terrifying display, almost all the other soldiers bend their knees, except for stubborn old Lord Tarly. Tyrion tries to talk Dany out of killing them, but she's set on making an example. She did give them a choice, after all. Lord Tarly's son, Dickon (our new crush), says they'll have to kill him too. Tyrion tries to talk some sense into him, but both the father and son won't pledge their allegiance to her, and our short-lived crush on Dickon goes, well, up in flames. "Dracarys," says the Mother of Dragons, and they burn to their death.
Jaime is back at King's Landing (seriously how did he get there so fast!?), and he has to be the bearer of bad news to Cersei (Lena Headey). She knows what happened, obviously, but she just doesn't get exactly how bad it was and what it means for them in this never-ending war. Jaime, clearly the realist in this relationship, knows that they're screwed and tries to talk some sense into the queen. "This isn't a war we can win," he says.
Cersei conveniently brings up their long lost brother Tyrion and that time when he murdered their father and son. This gives Jaime the chance to reveal that Olenna was actually the one who took out dear old Joff. Cersei doesn't buy it (she is so stubborn), but Jaime is convinced that she really was telling the truth. Cersei, instead of being angry that the Queen of Thorns murdered her son, is angry that she didn't get to torture her to death. Priorities, people.
We next arrive at Dragonstone via dragonback, where Dany and Drogon return to Jon (Kit Harington) on a cliff. This is the first time he officially meets a dragon up close and personal, and we're not sure how he stays so calm as the huge beast comes screeching toward him. They inch toward each other and Jon works up the nerve to pet the dragon's spiky snout, as if he's just the friendly family dog. Drogon doesn't seem to mind it at all—in fact, he seems to enjoy it.
Drogon totally knows he's one of them, and this scene gave us all the feels. "They're beautiful aren't they?" asks Dany. Jon's not so sure beautiful is the first word he'd go for, but he does agree. "They're my children," she says affectionately.
As if this scene doesn't already have us feeling emotional enough with the dragon fam meet-up, Ser Jorah (Iain Glen) makes his triumphant return. We literally get chills as he and Khaleesi lock eyes. He kneels before his queen and they look at each other lovingly. They hug (Khaleesi doesn't hug!) and we melt a little inside.
Cut to a flock of ravens, white-eyed and possessed-looking, and Bran warging out. The birds are flying over the vast land beyond The Wall, with Bran using them to see what's out there, and then all of a sudden: oh sh*t. There they are. The White Walkers are marching onward, and there's a lot of them. Seriously, have there always been this many? Suddenly, the Night King sees the ravens and BAM! They fall from the sky with just one look from him. He's on to you, Bran. The young Three-Eyed Raven snaps out of his warg episode and says they need to get ravens out, stat.
Over at the Citadel, the maesters are having a meeting to discuss Bran's letter, which just arrived. Samwell overhears them and chimes in with his two cents, saying that they should listen to what he has to say. If the maesters just used their vast influence to spread the word about the impending danger headed their way, then the Night King and his army could potentially be taken out for good. But they're still not completely convinced. "It's real," says Sam. "I've seen it."
Back at Dragonstone, Tyrion is defending Khaleesi's actions to PR director Lord Varys, who is not so happy with the queen's decisions as he tries to do some major damage control. Burning the Tarlys alive was not a good decision, and he tells Tyrion that he needs to find a way to make her listen. Good luck with that, guys.
Jon finally receives Bran's letter and oh wait—Bran's alive? He finally finds out that both his little bro and Arya are alive. But back to those pesky Walkers. Jon is clearly worried about what Bran saw. The army is headed toward Eastwatch, and Jon realizes he needs to get back ASAP.
Dany won't help because she doesn't want to abandon her position when Cersei might make her next move, but Tyrion has an idea. They need to make Cersei believe that the Army of the Dead is real, so Tyrion suggests they bring real, live proof to her. But in order to do that, Tyrion needs to meet up with Jaime to discuss this further. And that's when Davos comes in handy, because he can smuggle them in to King's Landing.
Back in Winterfell, the folks there are not too happy about Jon being away on Mission Impossible, and Sansa (Sophie Turner) does her best to defend him. But Arya (Maisie Williams) doesn't think her best is good enough and believes she should have done more to back up their brother. She thinks that Sansa is sneakily trying to inch her way into Jon's position, and she calls her out on it, but Sansa denies it. The sisters will have to agree to disagree on this one.
Again with the uber-fast travel—Tyrion and Davos have arrived at King's Landing. "Last time I was here, I killed my father with a crossbow," reminisces Tyrion. "Last time I was here you killed my son with wildfire," Davos jabs, and Tyrion looks bewildered. Davos and his one liners are giving us life this season. The two set off on different missions.
Bronn brings Jaime down to the Skull Room to meet up with brother Tyrion, and Jaime looks like he wants to kill him. Tyrion explains why he had to kill their father, and it's pretty heartbreaking. Jaime won't hear it though, so they get right down to business, discussing the terms Dany wants Cersei to agree to.
Next, we find out what business Davos has in Flea Bottom. GENDRY!!! we all scream. We have been wondering where this guy has been for years, as the last time we saw him was season three when Ser Davos helped him escape that crazy lady Melisandre after she leeched him. He ominously rowed out to sea, never to be seen again—until now.
"Wasn't sure I'd find ya. Thought you might still be rowing," quips Davos, which references a tweet by the actor who plays Gendry, Joe Dempsie. Back in 2014, Dempsie tweeted, "Still rowin'...#GoT," when asked what his character was up to. We LOL'd at that. The guy is clearly bored in Flea Bottom, because he is absolutely stoked to leave with Davos, no questions asked. "I'm ready," he states. "Let's go."
Jaime heads straight back upstairs to tell his queen/lover/sister that he met with Tyrion. She almost looks amused when she hears this. After he explains that Daenerys wants to meet to discuss the Army of the Dead, Cersei immediately asks if he's going to punish Bronn for setting up the meeting without his consent, so she clearly already knew about that little rendezvous. She also has news of her own, revealing to Jaime that she's pregnant. He asks who she'll say who the father is. "You," she says, clearly feeling bolder and bolder with each episode. We wonder how this will go over with everyone else.
Then, in one of our favorite moments of the episode, the two bastards meet face-to-face. After Davos tells Gendry not to reveal who he is, he goes and does just that, telling Jon the second he arrives at Dragonstone that he's the bastard of Robert Baratheon. The two size each other up and become fast friends, just like their fathers were. "Our fathers trusted each other," Gendry says. "Why shouldn't we?" We love these heartwarming moments that Thrones rarely gives us, which makes them that much better. Instead of going to work in Winterfell, Gendry offers himself up to go along with Jon to capture a White Walker. Jon accepts, telling him they could use the help.
Back at the Citadel, Sam has finally had it with his duties. He makes one last stop at the forbidden section of the library in true Harry Potter form to gather up a few important books, then he loads up his lady and her kid to set off into the night. To where? We aren't quite sure yet.
But wait—what was that Gilly says about a marriage annulment of Rhaegar Targaryen? Our ears perk up as soon as she says that, and we know it's important info, so we'll keep that mental tab open for the future.
Back in Winterfell, Lord Baelish is doing some sneaky business. Arya is on to you, Littlefinger. But be careful, Arya, because he is on to you, too. While she's spying on his every move, she doesn't realize that he knows she's spying and is leading her right where he wants her to be. That can't be good.
Littlefinger gets a copy of a note, and, quite loudly for something so seemingly secretive, tells the messenger that Lady Stark thanks him for his service. He goes back into the room, where we assume he's left the note, and after he leaves, Arya uses some lock picking skills she's acquired to open the door and find what he's hidden. It's of course hidden in the mattress, where everyone hides everything. Come on, Arya, that was way too easy. Littlefinger knew Arya was following him, and waited to see if she'd take the bait.
In the final scenes of the episode, Jon, Davos, Gendry, and Jorah arrive at Eastwatch to meet with Tormund and his Wildling crew who guard The Wall. Tormund (of course) wonders where Brienne is, which makes Jon laugh. Seriously, we've seen him laugh like four times in this episode alone and we're kind of loving it. Tormund honestly can't understand why Jon wants to go out past The Wall, but he also knows of some others who are down to join the mission, so he leads them to the dungeon.
And it's The Hound! And his Lord of Light-following friends, Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr, who apparently need to go beyond The Wall, too. The best part of this is that pretty much all of these men have beef with each other. Tormund doesn't trust Jorah Mormont because of who his father was, and Gendry doesn't trust Beric and Thoros because they're the ones who handed him over to Melisandre. But this oddball group is clearly going to have to work together on this if they want to make it through.
"Here we all are," says Beric. "At the edge of the world, at the same moment, heading in the same direction, for the same reason." Of course the guy who can't die finds the significance in this. But Jon agrees. "We're all on the same side," he says, but Gendry angrily asks how that can be. "We're all breathing," says Jon. Great point.
In the final scene of the episode, the newly-formed crew open the gates to a swirling snowstorm. Yep, winter has definitely arrived. We'll have to wait until next week to follow them on their mission.