Real Twilight Fans Already Read the "New" Book
Sure, Stephenie Meyer officially announced the release of her new Twilight saga book, Midnight Sun, today, but real ones know that the book, written from Edward’s point of view, technically came out in August of 2008. Well, not the real version, but a leaked unfinished PDF that made its way to every Twi-hard’s desktop. It was a cultural reset to say the LEAST.
Sorry to Ms. Meyer for messing with your bag, but you simply cannot have expected a bunch of horny teens to turn down the opportunity to read about what Edward saw when he met Bella. How could we refuse all the answers to our burning questions sitting right in front of us? Edward reads minds, so this book wasn’t just a look into his own [redacted] thoughts, we got to look inside Jacob’s [redacted] thoughts as well! Come on, sis.
The leak broke the internet. (OK, dented the internet, but at the very least my WiFi was down!) Meyer was so upset by it that she said she was “too sad” to complete the book and wanted to hold it indefinitely. She called the version that went around “messy and flawed.” There were even petitions to support Meyer and her “indefinite hold” of the book. (For the record, I did not sign.) Meyer, in order to reclaim her literal narrative, even posted (a since deleted) updated version of the leaked chapters for free for her fans.
She was going through it.
Not to take anyone too far down the rabbit hole, but after all of this, Meyer released Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined in 2016, in which “Beaufort Swan” met “Edythe Cullen” in Forks, Wash. (Spoiler: Edythe’s a vampire.) My girl was riding this train as far as she could, releasing a sex-swapped retelling of the iconic love story. Admittedly, I did not read this one, but if you’re craving some content might I suggest you buy this book while you wait for Midnight Sun.
Fast forward to 2020. We’re in a global pandemic. There are frankly few things that bring joy — but this news? This is one of them. Meyer’s personal website had a countdown to 8:30 a.m. this morning. When the countdown clock reached zero, fans crashed her site. The page now reads: “Midnight Sun - August 4, 2020.” Twelve years later and look at her power. For the record, Twilight, the multi-million dollar series, broke the Waterstone’s record for the shortest time to sell a million copies. Horny vampires will never not be a hit, and hold me to that statement!
The #Krisbians are crying! #TeamJacob is shaking! And everyone is still upset Bella and Edward named their one and only daughter Renesemee. Even the (extremely active) official Twilight Instagram account weighed in! Read the comments for a good laugh. So yes, it’s safe to say fans are losing their minds over the announcement.
But, Twi-hards, the real ride-or-dies, are a little less impressed. The reactions to this announcement are weeding out the strong from the weak. The real from the fake.
To all my #TeamEdward girls and gays, this one's for you. Now here’s to hoping my boyfriend Robert Pattinson and my girlfriend Kristen Stewart reunite for the new film …