By Jonathan Borge
May 15, 2018 @ 11:15 am

Willow Smith didn’t always know how to grapple with her emotions in a healthy way. In fact, the 17-year-old star revealed that she hit a low point in 2010, fresh off the success of her “Whip My Hair” hit when she was just 9 years old. 

In a new episode Red Table Talk, the Facebook Watch series she co-hosts with her mom, Jada Pinkett Smith, and grandmother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, Willow admits that she previously engaged in self-harm. “I honestly feel like I lost my sanity at one point,” she said.

Rindoff/Le Segretain/Getty

“It was after that whole ‘Whip My Hair’ thing and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I was kind of in this gray area of, ‘Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything that I can do besides this?’” she added, explaining that she didn’t want to finish her album, and suddenly began listening to “dark music.”

“I was plunged into this black hole and I was cutting myself, and doing crazy things,” Willow says, to the shock and surprise of mom Jada, who replied, “What? Really? When were you cutting yourself? I didn’t see that part.”

Surviving Loss

This week around the Red Table, Jada Pinkett Smith reveals the impact of the tragic death of her longtime best friend, Tupac Shakur. While Willow Smith shares a painful secret for the first time. Follow Red Table Talk for episodes and updates, only on Facebook Watch.

Posted by Red Table Talk on Monday, May 14, 2018

Willow moved on to provide some background. “I never talk about it because it was such a short, weird point in my life, but you have to pull yourself out of it. I honestly felt like I was experiencing so much emotional pain but my physical circumstances weren’t reflecting that,” she said, as Jada wrapped her head around it. “One night I was like, ‘This is actually psychotic.’ And after that, I just stopped.”

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In a recent letter for InStyle, Jada writes about motherhood, and how Willow taught her acceptance. “I have learned so much about life experiences—intimate life experiences you were having that I wasn't aware of. And it taught me that, as much as I thought I knew you, there's so much more to know,” she writes. “Even though I've been surprised, and even a bit shocked at times, I'm just glad that you have your own internal fortitude to get yourself through some of your most intimate, darkest hours.”