"I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time."


Hilary Duff is opening up about some of the frustrations she's gone through in motherhood. In an Instagram post, the actress said that last week was her final week breastfeeding her daughter, Banks, explaining that her goal had been to breastfeed for six months, and then decide if she wanted to keep going.

"Let me tell you. Pumping at work sucks," she wrote. "I had zero down time and am usually pumping in a hair and make up trailer while four hands work to get me ready for the next scene with lots of other people around. Even if I had the luxury to be in my own room, it’s not even considered a 'break' because you have to sit upright for the milk to flow into the bottles!"

It wasn't just that it was difficult to get time to pump — she said that the pumping process itself isn't exactly a cakewalk, either.

"You are having your damn nipples tugged at by an aggressive machine that makes an annoying sound, that echoes through your head day and night (I swear that machine and I had many conversations at midnight and 3 am)!" she wrote. "Ttttthen having to find someplace to sterilize bottles and keep your milk cold."

She went on to say that although she breastfed with her first child, son Luca, she didn't pump very often because she wasn't working until he was about nine months old.

"With all of this complaining, I want to say I enjoyed (almost) every moment of feeding my daughter," she said. "Felt so lucky to be so close to her and give her that start. I know many women are not able to and for that I am sympathetic and very grateful that I could. For six wonderful months. But I needed a break. I was going to break. With the stress of a dropping milk supply and a baby that was getting bored or not caring about nursing when I was available to. I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time. When really I’m a bad ass rock star."

Breastfeeding has plenty of potential benefits, such as decreased risk of breast and ovarian cancers for the mother and protection against conditions like diarrhea and urinary tract infection for the baby. But it's not for everyone — and as Duff said, it's not easy. At the end of the day, what matters most is that the baby gets as much nutrition as needed, whether that's through breastfeeding or formula.