"I thought to myself, maybe this is sort of a relief?"  

By Isabel Jones
Jul 23, 2019 @ 5:45 pm

Reality star Whitney Port revealed during the latest episode of her podcast With Whit on Tuesday that she’d suffered from a miscarriage two weeks prior.

In this special “sensitive” episode, co-hosted by her husband, Tim Rosenman, the 34-year-old shared that her feelings about the end of her pregnancy aren’t black and white.

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Port and her husband welcomed son Sonny in 2017. Though she and Rosenman weren’t sure if it was the right time to try for a second child, Whitney stopped taking birth control, thinking, “if this happens on its own, then amazing, it is meant to be and we will have a second child. And if it doesn't happen, then we'll discuss it when we're both ready to have it."

Once she learned she was pregnant, Whitney felt conflicted, and then in turn felt “extremely ashamed and guilty” for feeling anything less than joy. “These layers of shame and guilt make it so hard to talk about," she explained.

Port went on, expressing that after she found out her pregnancy was no longer viable, she didn’t feel the sort of overwhelming sorrow that society expects from women in that situation.

“I feel so bad saying this. I honestly feel like a complete monster for saying this, but when I found out the pregnancy was possibly not viable, I thought to myself, maybe this is sort of a relief? I did feel professionally like I was in one of the busiest times of my life and I felt like this timing was really terrible to be pregnant, and so there was part of me when we were in limbo that was like ‘If this isn’t going to happen, I think I’m OK with it.’”

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“I can't say I feel relieved," Port said of her current state. "I feel sad because the whole thing is just traumatic, it's traumatic to think about your body going through this and something being in you that could have been someone like a Sonny or something. I feel sad but, I do also feel happy that my body is still my own right now and that this isn't an extra thing we didn't plan for."

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