A sentence we never thought we'd write: A-list babe Scarlett Johansson has never auditioned to be anyone's girlfriend. The actress felt compelled to proclaim as much after someone accused her of doing just that.

Former Scientologist Brendan Tighe appeared on Megyn Kelly Today on Wednesday, sharing secrets and revelations he gleaned from the controversial religious community.

During his interview, Tighe told Kelly that he once came across documents confirming that Johansson had auditioned to be Cruise’s girlfriend (or “second dynamic” in Scientology speak) following his divorce from Nicole Kidman, explaining that the report said “[the audition] didn’t go well” and that Parenthood actress and scientologist Erika Christensen had to disconnect (sever ties) with Johansson due to Scarlett’s disinterest.

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Johansson, an outspoken feminist and proponent of the Time’s Up movement, responded swiftly to Tighe’s comments, telling The Hollywood Reporter, “The very idea of any person auditioning to be in a relationship is so demeaning. I refuse for anyone to spread the idea that I lack the integrity to choose my own relationships. Only a man aka Brendan Tighe would come up with a crazy story like that.”

It’s unclear why Tighe would fabricate such a tale, or if he simply misremembered the name, but Johansson’s rebuke rings in loud and clear.

And, um, who needs Tom Cruise when you’ve got SNL hottie Colin Jost on your arm?? It just doesn’t add up, if you ask us.

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