By Camille Nzengung
Updated Dec 10, 2018 @ 2:45 pm

Sarah Hyland has had a rough few years, to put it lightly. Though she’s briefly touched on her health struggles with kidney dysplasia before, the actress has never been so open about the complications she faces with her chronic illness. That is, until her most recent interview, where she revealed that she contemplated suicide following her first failed kidney transplant.

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at the opening performance of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

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In a candid interview for Self’s January digital cover, the 28-year-old shared that she underwent a second kidney transplant in 2017 after the kidney she had previously received had failed.

Back in 2012, the Modern Family star revealed to Seventeen Magazine that she suffered from kidney dysplasia (a disease which causes your kidneys to grow cysts as a result of not developing properly in the womb) and due to the severity of her case, she required a kidney transplant. Luckily, her father was a match and he donated his kidney for the life-saving operation.

However, her body never properly accepted the organ, and in 2016 things took a a turn for the worse when her body began rejecting the transplanted organ outright.

“We did all of these tests and all of these treatments to try and save the kidney,” she said. “Christmas break, New Year’s, Thanksgiving, my birthday, all of that spent in the hospital.”

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Sadly, none of the treatment proved to be successful, and, as a result, Hyland underwent kidney dialysis for the first time beginning Valentine’s Day of 2017. The process led to a drastic weight loss, and many fans began to criticize her appearance.

Hyland later addressed the comments suggesting that she was anorexic, mentioning that she hadn’t “had the greatest year.” Given what we know now, can we honestly blame her?

Despite the doctors' best efforts, her transplanted kidney had to be removed in May 2017 and she needed another kidney transplant. Her brother, who turned out to be a match, offered to donate his kidney, but the star had concerns about accepting it, considering how unsuccessful her first transplant had been with her father’s kidney.

“I was very depressed. When a family member gives you a second chance at life, and it fails, it almost feels like it’s your fault. It’s not. But it does,” Hyland said. “For a long time, I was contemplating suicide, because I didn’t want to fail my little brother like I failed my dad.”

She ended up having her second kidney transplant in September 2017 followed by a couple more surgeries (six in the last 16 months and 16 total in her life) due to endometriosis and an abdominal hernia that had developed.

“I was still in severe pain after the transplant, and that was due to the endo and the hernia,” she said.

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For Hyland, a major source of support throughout the recovery process has been her boyfriend Wells Adams, who she started dating just days before the second transplant.

“He’s seen me at my worst,” she shared. “He was there through all of that. I think that’s why I feel the most beautiful in his eyes, because he still finds me beautiful after seeing all that.”

Even now, the 34-year-old reality star is continuing to be supportive of his girlfriend, sharing a sweet Instagram post on Monday.

“This beautiful specimen has had a tough couple of weeks,” he wrote, also referring to the loss of the Hyland's cousin, who was killed by a drunk driver last week. “I’m here to remind you @sarahhyland that there is light amongst all the darkness. If you ever doubt that, just look at this picture and remember how awesome we are. Throw on some sweats, order some Postmates and put on Home Alone. I’ll be home soon.”

The star spoke of the importance of having people like Adams to act as support network during tough times, saying, “It’s not shameful. For anybody that wants to reach out to somebody but doesn’t really know how because they’re too proud or they think that they’ll be looked upon as weak, it’s not a shameful thing to say. It’s not a shameful thing to share.”