The Definitive Ranking of Rachel Green's Friends Love Interests
Friendsis nearly a quarter-century old, and its relationship dynamics feel it. Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) dated a barrage of very terrible men through the series’ 10-year run, only to end up with a slightly less terrible than average one in the end. (Tbh, I really don’t think Ross is that bad, but more on that later.)
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Scroll down below for our definitive ranking of the men in Rachel Green’s life.
Tommy (aka The Screamer) was, without a doubt the worst of Rachel’s dates, but Ben Stiller totally should have won an Emmy for it.
Ugh, Barry. Like Rachel’s reckless spending and codependence, her relationship with the slimy dentist should’ve stayed in her past — instead, we got 6 episodes with the creep, who does the unforgivable and marries Rachel’s best friend! Barry, you’re hereby canceled.
Paolo wasn't exactly one with words (not in English, at least), but his actions spoke louder — like when he came onto Phoebe. Ross was right, he is a "crap weasel."
Danny of unknown last name was great on the surface (well, once he shaved his Yeti-like beard), but his strangely physical relationship with his sister Krista was just too weird. Bathing with your sibling as an adult is a deal-breaker you really don’t want to have to clarify.
Unlike most of Rachel's boyfriends, Paul knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. That being said, he's a little ... uh, much? I suppose we'd be remiss to expect anything less from this self-proclaimed sexy love machine, who happens to be the father of Ross's questionably young girlfriend.
If you hate Ross, get a load of Russ, who is literally Ross (David Schwimmer) with a prosthetic nose, worse hair, and fewer things to talk about.
Tag was the ideal S.O. in that he was 24 and his last name was Jones, like me! Just kidding, Tag’s age actually hindered his relationship with Rachel, who dumped him on her 30th birthday when she realized they weren’t in the same place, life-wise. Also, he bought her a scooter … for her 30th birthday. If Rachel’s language of love is gifts, that’s one helluva red flag. Anyway, Tag’s a nice guy — not particularly deep, but nice.
Like Tag, Joshua is kind of a blank slate — more of a vehicle for Jennifer Aniston to shine comedically than a worthy love interest. Again, very nice, but very forgettable. It’s refreshing, and frankly surprising, that Friends, in the ‘90s no less, had flipped the gender roles on the sort of relationship we typically see between male leads and their flavor of the month dates, à la Seinfeld’s Jerry and his many, many girlfriends.
He's not number one on this list, but that doesn't mean Gavin isn't great. Let’s begin with the obvious: he’s played by Dermot Mulroney. Plus, he knows how to admit when he’s wrong and he’s charming AF. His downfall, however, was his reluctance to fight for Rachel, which probably makes him a good guy, but not a great boyfriend.
Joey treated Rachel like a queen, and though the closeness of their friendship proved too great a barrier for romance, we have no doubt that a fully fleshed out Rachel-Joey arc would be a love story for the ages.
I know hating on Ross is very trendy right now, but I must say I’m kind of a fan. Is he the least compelling of the titular friends? Certainly. But is he a pillar of normalized toxic masculinity and homophobia? Nah. Ross is just your average ‘90s guy who, like most men, has a lot to learn. He has his flaws: anger management issues (don't get us started on sandwiches), something of a superiority complex, and irrational jealousy, but — oh man, that all sounds pretty bad. Did I just convince myself to hate Ross? Regardless, he really loves Rachel — she’s his lobster, dammit!