By Isabel Jones
Nov 13, 2018 @ 4:30 pm
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Though it’s Princess Charlotte making the headlines these days for her sassy asides and shenanigans, there’s no doubt she got her attitude straight from the sassiest of them all, HRH Queen Elizabeth.

Chris Jackson/Getty Images

In a new book from Charles Oliver, the son of a former royal servant, the secrets of Buckingham Palace’s kitchen are laid bare, including a particularly stomach-churning incident involving a slug.

Oliver writes that Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are given a notebook at meal times, in which they are invited to share their feedback. And though we like to imagine Queen E writing “thank u, next” on every page, according to Oliver “the Queen is not fussy about food” and the book is rarely used.

However, on one unique occasion, Elizabeth tore a page from the book and plopped the body of a dead slug atop it, writing, “I found this in the salad — could you eat it?” That’s gonna be a "no" from us, Dawg.

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We have a lot of questions: 1) How does such an oversight get made in the salad of the literal Queen of England — like maybe take a second look? 2) Did this lead to anyone’s firing and/or resigning? How do you show your face again after accidentally (or, gasp, *purposefully*) feeding Britain’s reigning monarch a dead mollusk?? 3) Did the Queen really go through the trouble of picking the slug from her salad and writing a nasty message to the staff, or did she have another member of the staff dictate it for her? 4) Is Charles Oliver a real name?

Alas, I suppose we’ll have to wait for the February 2019 publication of Dinner at Buckingham Palace to find the answers we seek.