What do you get the family that literally has everything? An “Ain’t Life a Bitch” bath cap, for starters.

The British Royal Family has a hilarious Christmas tradition — every Christmas Eve (at 6 p.m., sharp) the family exchanges gag gifts in Sandringham’s red drawing room. Resident jokester Prince Philip “supervises the proceedings” and tells the rest of the fam when it’s time to open their “cheap and cheerful” gifts.

Hall of fame mentions go to Kate Middleton, who once gifted then-single Prince Harry a “Grow Your Own Girlfriend” kit; Princess Anne, who gave her brother Prince Charles a leather toilet seat that he actually loves and reportedly travels with; and Prince Harry, who gifted his grandmother — the QUEEN — the aforementioned message-bearing bath hat.

Though it’s a long-standing tradition, the royals are apparently not quite as explicit with the holiday gifting protocol as they should be. For Princess Diana’s first Christmas after wedding Charles, she missed the “silly” memo and gave Princess Anne a cashmere sweater. In return, she received a toilet paper cozy.

Anwar Hussein Collection
Credit: Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

I’m personally (and inexplicably) very offended by this story. When your new husband fails to keep you abreast of his very fancy family’s holiday traditions, thereby setting you up for failure and humiliation, that feels like a bright red flag. IMHO, Di should have called things off then and there.

Diana And The Queen
Credit: Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images

She made up for the faux pas, of course, and bought Duchess Fergie a leopard-print bath mat the following year.