Think cannabis and plungers.

By Christopher Luu
Updated Feb 21, 2019 @ 4:45 pm

The official Academy Awards swag bag is a thing of the past — like showing only some the awards during the telecast ... or not. But that doesn't mean this year's nominees won't be getting a slew of free stuff.

Thanks to Distinctive Assets, the Best Actor and Actress, Best Supporting Actor and Actress, and Best Director nominees will all ~feel like winners~ whether or not they get to take home a trophy.

Distinctive Assets has been handing out its signature "Everyone Wins" goodie bags for the last two decades, giving stars the chance to either forget about their loss or add a little bit extra to the distinction of being in the Academy Award Winner Club. Founder Lash Fary insists it's not about spoiling the stars, it's more about adding some fun to the hectic week leading up to the show.

"While this gift bag does always boast an impressive value, that is never our goal. A great gift has nothing to do with the cost," Fary said in a release. "We understand the interest in the 'wow' number associated with this now-legendary gift bag, but we prefer to simply celebrate the fun and festive nature of the contents ... no matter how big or small."

Oscars Academy Awards - Red Carpet
Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty Images

This year's gifts run the gamut from outrageous — luxury small-ship adventure with International Expeditions — to the everyday, like a Yeti cooler full of Jarritos soda and Pepperidge Farms Milano cookies. And because the ceremony's held in California, there's a bit of cannabis culture thrown in, too. The swag includes Coda Signature's ultra-luxe cannabis-
infused edibles, topicals, and concentrates and a special VIP membership to MOTA ― L.A.'s cannabis-friendly social club. Anyone who doesn't take home a statuette will probably appreciate the included getaway to legendary Golden Door luxury wellness resort, with its digital detox and guided meditations. And if that getaway wasn't enough, there's also a trip to the Avaton Luxury Villas Resort in Greece.

As for what the nominees can use leading up to the big show, there's a bevy of beauty products from Instytutum, Nannette de Gaspé, cannabis-infused High Beauty, MZ Skin, and It's a 10. Any glam squad would be happy to have all that plus a tote and garment bag (from The Green Garmento) to keep it all in.

But let's not forget snacks — there's Posh Pretzels, Rouge Maple organic maple syrup, and a poolside meal prepped by a celeb chef provided by Nest Seekers International. Quirkier items (Distinctive Assets's trademark) come by the way of an emoji plunger by Mister Poop and Southern Wicked Lemonade's lemonade moonshine.

It's all perfect to celebrate and drown sorrows alike. The Oscars isn't the only game in town for Distinctive Assets, either. The company's also provided the swag for the Grammys, Latin Grammys, Tonys, American Music Awards, and just about every other show that involves celebs and a red carpet, right down to the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.