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By Lia Beck
Updated Feb 05, 2019 @ 12:30 pm
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Oneyka Nicole Bachelor
Credit: ABC

This week’s edition of Colton’s journey to find an Instagram collaborator love brought us Elyse’s surprise exit, Cassie’s takeover as the frontrunner, and Heather’s first kiss. Like, first kiss ever. What it did not bring us was a rose ceremony — instead, the episode ended on a cliffhanger: Nicole and Onyeka’s fight. The confrontation led to Colton getting frustrated and walking away — until the next episode, of course.

I understand why Colton peaced — Nicole and Onyeka’s argument was confusing as hell. The rumor that set it off (that Nicole was there for the wrong reasons) was started by Elyse, who conveniently left the show during this episode in her “statement dress.” It was confusing for Colton, because he was in the middle of a “she said-she said” and didn’t know what to believe. And, finally, it was confusing for viewers, because this fight was based on a variety of things including, cry-shaming, bullying, being there for the wrong reasons, and whether someone was called “mentally unstable” or “emotionally unstable.”

Things would have been clearer if The Bachelor had included a conversation between Onyeka and Nicole that was posted by the show online, but didn’t make the cut for TV. The clip shows where “emotionally unstable” came from, and, interestingly, took place during the group date from the previous episode in Singapore. The conversation is much calmer than the one the two ladies had on Monday’s episode and really set the stage for what was to come.

In the video, Onyeka starts by saying she wants to express some concerns she and other women in the house have, and tells Nicole, “Sometimes it’s a question whether you’re fully emotionally stable to be in a committed relationship. I’ve seen you cry more times than I’ve seen anyone cry in the house and most people that I’m really close with in life.”

Nicole explained that’s just who she is: an emotional person who cries a lot. She told the camera, “They think I’m weak because I’m crying and being emotional. I’m just totally being myself.”

Seeing the previous convo between Nicole and Onyeka shows the context in which Onyeka said “emotionally unstable” (and that she did actually say that phrase) and how the cry-shaming idea got started. You get a better picture of Oyenka being confrontational — even if she claims it’s out of concern — and actually see how emotional Nicole is. It’s valuable information to have. Not for, like, life or anything, but for a show where you’re constantly reassessing contestants as they make their way to the final rose.

It won’t be a surprise if Colton decides to let both Onyeka and Nicole go during the rose ceremony during the next episode. Who could blame him? Their connections with him aren’t that strong, so it’s not worth the drama. The lesson in this for viewers, though, is to remember that there’s always more going on. And, apparently, to check YouTube for anything not deemed worthy of the actual episode.