By Sam Reed
Sep 06, 2018 @ 3:30 pm

Melania Trump didn't do it. 

That's the First Lady's story and she's sticking to it following Wednesday evening's explosive New York Times op-ed, written by an anonymous senior Trump administration official who alleged a "resistance" within the president's own camp. 

"Many of the senior officials in [Trump's] own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations," wrote the author of the piece, whose identity is the greatest mystery to sweep America since crop circles. 

President Donald Trump went on TV almost immediately to smack down the editorial, calling the author "gutless" and recycling his favorite adjective to describe the institution that is The New York Times: "failing." In his exasperated and clearly anger-fueled rant against the piece, the President is seen flailing his arms in clear frustration.

He later tweeted just the word (in what we we're sure was an attempt to be cryptic, but really came across as meme-worthy), "TREASON?" in all caps. 

By comparison to both Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders (who also denounced the op-ed and the "failing New York Times"), Melania Trump is cool as a cucumber. Via her communications director, Stephanie Grisham, the First Lady issued the following statement, with nary an exclamation point in sight!

"Unidentified sources have become the majority of the voices people hear about in today's news," reads the statement. "People with no names are writing our nation's history. Words are important, and accusations can lead to severe consequences."

She continues, "If a person is bold enough to accuse people of negative actions, they have a responsibility to publicly stand by their words and people have the right to be able to defend themselves." The New York Times editorial board writes that the author's name was withheld because their "job would be jeopardized by its disclosure." 

The final zinger, courtesy of the FLOTUS: "To the writer of the op-ed — you are not protecting this country, you are sabotaging it with your cowardly actions." 

As the D.C. game of "Whodunnit?" continues, more than a few fingers have been pointed in Mike Pence's direction. Internet sleuths made the connection to the VP because of a specific word used in the text: "lodestar." (To save you the Google search, it means "a star that leads or guides," according to Merriam Webster.) Pence has used the word several times in past speeches as well as during televised events. 

That said, on Thursday afternoon, he called the editorial "disgraceful." 

Let the guessing game continue. 

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