This might as well be a celebrity slogan: Where the Kardashians go, drama will follow (hey, they didn't get 15 seasons of their show by playing nice 24/7, now did they?)
Some of the family's biggest blowouts have been right in the family, screened before our very eyes on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The latest showdown making waves? A major fight between Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, which has spilled over from the TV screens onto Twitter.
Why were Kim and Kourtney fighting in the first place? Is Kourtney still fighting with her sisters even now, months later? And how do Chicago's cherry blossom baby shower and Christmas factor in?
Read on for everything you need to know about drama brewing in Calabasas.
Kim was on a Christmas mission.
Like many an elf, Kim spent the pre-holiday season working toward Christmas 2017. Her goal? A Christmas card photo shoot with every member of the family. That's a tough call to action, because there are a lot of family members.
And Kourtney was kind of a Grinch about it.
Alright, to be fair, the Kardashian-Jenner 2017 family Christmas cards came in 25 parts and had a lot of moving components, so it was demanding. But coordinating all of those schedules must have been tough for Kim, and Kourtney wasn't about to make it any easier.
She made it clear that she'd leave the Christmas shoot at 4 p.m. on the dot, no matter what, a fact which she repeated over and over to an irritated Kim, who was juggling the family project on top of her KKW Beauty business.
"Maybe if you had a f—ing business that you were passionate about then you would know what it takes to run a f—ing business," Kim finally said. "But you don't, so don't even act like you know what I'm talking about."
Then Kim exploded.
Perhaps the stress of generating copious amounts of Christmas cheer for a gigantic family got to her, or perhaps Kourtney's perceived laziness was on her last nerve, but Kim went from nice to naughty real quick once Kourtney started to up and leave.
“No one wants you in the f—ing shoot. Get the f— out of here and go,” Kim told her sister, not mincing words.
“I need Kourtney to not be so f—ing annoying with a stick up her a— like she f—ing runs this s—, because she doesn’t. She’s the least exciting to look at, so she can be out.”
Understandably, Kourtney was hurt by that comment.
Kourtney walked off set, but fans did watch as mediator Khloé spoke to her over the phone, as Kourtney clearly sobbed on the other end of the line.
“I’m not here to be mistreated by my f—ing bitch family. Kim saying that I’m the least interesting to look at — who even speaks like that? You don’t say things like that," Kourtney said. "You guys just have really different values than me. I choose to be a mother to my three kids. I’m not here looking for another job. I already work enough — more than I would like to.”
During Khloé's call, Kim got another few words in.
Unfortunately, Khloé and Kourtney were on speaker phone. To nobody's surprise, Kim wasn't exactly soothing when she overheard and hopped into their conversation.
“You do whatever the f—k you want to do and you don't do s—, so be accommodating to the people that actually do s—,” Kim said.
Kourtney's response, in between tears? “You’re a very distraught, evil human being. I don’t agree with who you are as a human being.”
Eventually, Kim (kind of) apologized.
"I'm just here to say that I'm not gonna spend my time, whether it's my sister or not, with anybody that talks to me that way or thinks that way about me," Kourtney then clarified. "Your words have meaning and they come from somewhere. You didn't just make them up. It's really unkind."
"Well, I'm sorry If I said something that was hurtful," Kim conceded. It was ... kind of an apology? Though apologies with "if I did it" are rarely good apologies, let's be honest.
Kim extended an olive branch in the form of an invite.
Despite the blow up, Kim still invited Kourtney to a baby shower for her daughter Chicago (remember this was pre-baby palooza).
And Kourtney intentionally skipped the whole affair.
The eldest sister was a no show at Kim's cherry blossom-themed party. Even though they had a big fight, Kim was visibly disappointed that Kourtney wasn't there.
"I really hoped Kourtney was gonna get over herself and just show up, but she didn't," Kim said. "So, I don't think she's big on family 'cause if she was, she would be at my shower."
Hopefully things got better? Maybe?
Considering Kourtney was indeed featured in the family Christmas cards, it does seem that at some point, things took a turn for the better. Even so, Kourtney admitted to E! News a few days before the episode aired that things are still tense between her and her sisters.
"I think it started at the end of season 14, a lot of tension building between us," she said. "I felt like every day almost I was being picked on and criticized and I just couldn't take it any more."
"Honestly, I think it's ongoing. I've been really working on myself a lot and I think through my growth, I'm better at expressing myself. I think in the past I've always been great at like not being emotional. I think that I'm better now at expressing my feelings. So I think this is ongoing. It's a lot of communication instead of letting things go back into the way that they were. It's definitely a process and you'll see it throughout the season."
Live-tweeting the KUWTK premiere only ignited part two of the fight.
In a meta twist, the show drama took an even more IRL turn once Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered on Sunday. As Kim, Kourtney, and Khloé all live tweeted while watching the initial fight go down, things turned sour once again.
It started with Kourtney tweeting We all have our own priorities. Mine is being a mother.”
Doesn't take a genius to see where that led.
“And mine is not?" Kim replied. "The shoot was with our kids!!!!! My #1 priority is being a mother as well and I can work too, so can you!”
Kourtney responded, making it clear that her tweet wasn't directed at Kim.
"i wasn’t wanting MORE work, i already felt spread thin. Being a good mother also has different meaning to each of us. You’re an amazing mother, I’m not taking that away from you."
But then Kourtney and Khloé started going at it.
When Khloé tweeted that she "just wanted peace," Kourtney fired back with an incredibly vague "Khloe let’s be honest here."
Again, doesn't take Sherlock to decipher how that turned out.
"What the f— does that mean?? I didn’t want peace??" Khloé began. "Wait are you for real @kourtneykardash ??? Do we want to get into why all of us were frustrated with you? You want to do this on twitter?"
Kourtney didn't respond further, but that didn't stop Khloé.
"Hey @kourtneykardash are you watching the same episode I am??? Do you think I was picking on you? I was genuinely concerned about your happiness," Khloé wrote. "Stop looping me into your drama with Kim! Don’t ever tweet me that s— again!"
Eventually, even Khloé was confused about whether or not the sisters were all OK with one another.
"OK I don’t know what was crazier… The premiere of #KUWTK or the Twitter feud between my sisters and I LOL are we fighting again??" she asked. "I guess it’s time for that conference call.”
Kim clarified that they're all good, despite any evidence of the contrary ...
Between the fight on the show and the bickering on Twitter, some fans were left feeling concerned about the status of the three eldest Kardashian sisters, but Kim made it clear that they shouldn't sweat it.
"Dont ever get it twisted, me, Kourtney and Khloe are GOOD! ALWAYS!!!! Never question that!" she wrote.
Kourtney even confirmed as much.
"We’re ride or die. But i don’t accept the way we criticize and judge each other anymore. My personal growth doesn’t allow it."
See? Nothing to worry about here.
All that said, Twitter users seemed to think that Kris Jenner had something to do with the beef.
We're not saying the rumors are true, but we're also not saying it wouldn't be a genius promotional stunt ...