Kelly Rowland Doesn't Want to Be the Perfect Mother
When Kelly Rowland became a mom, the former Destiny's Child star realized that it wasn’t about her anymore.
“All of [people’s] questions are like, ‘Well, where's Titan?’ or, ‘How is Titan?” Now that he's in school, it's like — I'm Titan's mom. I don't have a name. My name is not Kelly, it's Titan's Mom.”
For a celebrity with such a high profile, the idea of mom-anonymity could either be incredibly surreal or incredibly appealing. However, for Rowland, being a mom to 3-year-old Titan isn’t about how people see her, or what they call her — it’s about being the best she can be for her son, even if that means not always getting it right.
“I was talking to my best friend in Houston,” Rowland says, and she said ‘Kel, I love you. But you’re not the perfect mother — and neither am I. No one is — so whenever someone tries to put that pressure on you, just tell them to go.’ You just want to make sure they have this easy life, but [trying to be perfect] doesn’t make any sense in the world — they have to understand what falling down, and trying again, and getting back up feels like.”
Rowland says that sentiment is especially present in her mind, because she’s a black mom, raising a black son.
“When it comes to just being a black mother, the one thing you think about is the life of your child,” Rowland says. “You think about the fact that their life is just different because of their skin color. It’s going to always be different because of their skin color. I put the pressure on myself — I’m like, he has to be great in school, he has to be further along than the other students to make sure he has an extra opportunity.”
For Rowland, a huge part of guiding her son as he grows is to make him aware of the realities of the world he lives in — even if that means acknowledging some uncomfortable truths.
“Right now, he sees no color because he’s only a child,” she explains. “I want him to understand where I’m coming from — I’m still learning how to gather my words to say them all to him.”
In addition to mastering the more delicate acts of parenting, Rowland is using her platform as a high-profile mom to reach other mothers and children, too. In 2017, she released Whoa, Baby! A Guide for New Moms Who Feel Overwhelmed and Freaked Out (and Wonder What the #*$& Just Happened), a candid guide to parenting. Now, she’s reaching parents in children in other ways, partnering with Clorox and Donors Choose, a program built to ease the financial burden on teachers. Clorox donated 200 thousand dollars to the cause — and Rowland is thrilled to be one of the spokespeople.
“You have some teachers, like my friends, who take money out of their own pockets and buy the students what they need. But, with Donors Choose, they provide the students and the teachers of course with everything that they need for the school year to make the classroom a more fun, clean space.”
To learn more about Donors Choose and their partnership with Clorox, visit DonorChoose.org.