By Christopher Luu
Jan 14, 2019 @ 10:00 pm

Nostalgia isn't all bad haircuts and questionable fashion choices. For Katy Perry, it's also about bad behavior. E! News reports that during what may have been a Marie Kondo-inspired tidying session, Perry and her parents stumbled upon a suspension she earned during her time at Santa Barbara Christian School. The infraction? "Inappropriate behavior." The details? One Katy Hudson was humping a tree.

Perry shared it all on her Instagram Story, which showed a snapshot of the actual suspension paperwork. She captioned the image with an all-caps declaration: "WHEN I WAS SUSPENDED IN 6TH GRADE FOR HUMPING A TREE AND I GUESS OTHER STUFF."

Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images

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"At the 2:00 p.m. recess, Katy and four other students were in an 'off-limits' area (behind the backboards) practicing a skit," the letter reads. "Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (pelvic thrusts) to the tree."

Not only did she get caught doing the deed, but the letter also goes on to say that Perry had to actually re-enact the whole incident. In her defense, 1996 was a banner year for Cruise, who released both Jerry Maguire and the first Mission: Impossible movie.

"When Katy met with Mrs. Calkins, Mr. White, and myself, she was asked to describe or demonstrate what she had been seen doing on the playground in front of some other students," the letter continues. "Katy chose to describe it. Her words were 'it was inappropriate' and 'like making out.'"

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There's a whole laundry list of Perry's bad behavior, which includes wearing crop tops, doing the Macarena dance, and "playing 'Spin the Bottle' and 'Truth or Dare' which resulted in students kissing on the cheek." The letter also states that Perry had been warned, though the fact that she got suspended after all of that proves that she didn't really pay any attention to the warnings. Add to that bullying third graders, using inappropriate language, and using the Lord's name in vain, and we've got a serial offender on our hands.

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