By Alexandra Whittaker
Jan 09, 2019 @ 10:45 am

In the midst of the Alex Rodriguez "will they/won't they get engaged" chapter of her love life, Jennifer Lopez's romantic judgment seems spot-on. But all it takes is a glance at that one time she and P. Diddy got arrested to realize she hasn't always made the healthiest dating choices. Even Lopez knows it.

The multi-hyphenate graces the cover of Harper's Bazaar this month, and she used the opportunity to reflect on the ghosts of romances past — and why she takes responsibility for the failures.

Jamie McCarthy

"For me, the relationship journey has been very up and down. But it didn’t have to do with anybody else but me — it was about me figuring out me," she said. "Until you learn to love yourself, you can’t completely love [someone else] in a way that is pure and true. Once you do that, you can have relationships that are based on love and respect, that are supportive and nourishing."

"There’s an evolution there that had to happen for me," she continued. "I feel like I’m in a better place now."

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Her family-filled Instagram seems to prove that true, but Lopez is careful not to pretend she's put together 100 percent of the time.

“I’ve got two amazing kids and a great boyfriend. I don’t have everything figured out, and everything isn’t perfect," she said. "But I feel very proud that with all the things I’ve gone through in my personal life, I’m still optimistic and hopeful.”

That's all you can really hope to be, right?