By Meghan Overdeep
Nov 21, 2017 @ 8:45 am

It's been more than three years and Jennifer Lawrence is still recovering from the nude photo leak that rocked Hollywood in August 2014.

"When the hacking thing happened, it was so unbelievably violating that you can't even put it into words," Lawrence, 27, revealed in a new episode of The Hollywood Reporter's "Awards Chatter" podcast. "I think that I'm still actually processing it."

Lawrence was one of hundreds of celebrities impacted by a massive invasion of privacy that allowed hackers to steal and publicly post their photos. "When I first found out it was happening, my security reached out to me. It was happening minute-to-minute—it was almost like a ransom situation where they were releasing new ones every hour or so," the Mother! star recalled.

Walter McBride/FilmMagic

With her signature candor, Lawrence explained how being violated so publicly made her feel. "And, I don't know, I feel like I got gang-banged by the f—ing planet—like, there's not one person in the world that is not capable of seeing these intimate photos of me," the Oscar-winner said. "You can just be at a barbecue and somebody can just pull them up on their phone. That was a really impossible thing to process."

Even worse, she noted, is the fact that the hackers faced little recourse for their crimes. "A lot of women were affected, and a lot of them reached out to me about suing Apple or suing [others]—and none of that was gonna really bring me peace, none of that was gonna bring my nude body back to me and Nic [her former boyfriend Nicholas Hoult], the person that they were intended for," she added. "It wasn't gonna bring any of that back. So I wasn't interested in suing everybody; I was just interested in healing."

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On top of all that, the fierce women's rights activist said it made her doubt her worth as a role model for young girls. "I think, like, a year and a half ago, somebody said something to me about how I was 'a good role model for girls,' and I had to go into the bathroom and sob because I felt like an impostor—I felt like, 'I can't believe somebody still feels that way after what happened.' It's so many different things to process when you've been violated like that."

For Lawrence, Red Sparrow, a forthcoming thriller from director Francis Lawrence, was a sort of response to the hacking trauma. "[The film] was really sexual, which has always scared me," she admitted. "I've always been like, 'Absolutely no way'—especially after what happened [with the nude hack]—'no way am I ever gonna do anything sexual.' So, for me, doing Red Sparrow—I felt like I was getting something back that had been taken from me."