If the holiday tradition of Elf on the Shelf (and remembering to move it to a different location every night) wasn’t frightful enough for parents, Game of Thrones’s Jaime Lannister is here to pose a disturbing alternative. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, the actor who brings Jaime to life, made an appearance on Tuesday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! to star as “Lannister on the Bannister,” a bloodthirsty version of the Christmas tradition.

“Fortunately, there’s a new little sentry for children of all religions that’s based on a very popular series on HBO,” Kimmel says in the video.

“Jaime Lannister will see to it that your children behave. No one can escape the Kingslayer’s watchful eye,” the ad declares, introducing the disturbing new “Elf on the Shelf” who threatens children, scares them into behaving by recounting the Red Wedding, and hits on women who look like his sister Cersei.

“You steal that candy and I’ll chop your hand off,” he threatens a naughty child going in for the jellybeans.

“Lannister on the Bannister” can be yours for only four monthly installments of only $19.99. And mind you, “a Lannister always pays his installments.”

Watch the hilarious video above and you’ll never look at Elf on the Shelf the same way again.