After 23 Years of Marriage, Jada Pinkett Smith Says She "Does Not Know Will at All"

The coronavirus pandemic is bringing a lot of things to light.

The idea of Will Smith and the actual Will Smith are two different things — and Jada Pinkett Smith says that she's still coming to terms with the two after 23 years of marriage. People reports that during this week's Red Table Talk, Jada explained to her daughter Willow and mother, Adrienne Banfield Norris, that the pandemic and quarantine are offering moments of reflection. Part of that, Jada explains, is that she's realizing that she's working through her ideals of Will Smith to get to the real person under it all.

The topic of Jada and Will's marriage came up when Pastor John Gray and his wife, Aventer, appeared on the Facebook Watch series to speak about relationships and marriage. Jada said that she is just now realizing that she doesn't really know who Will is.

"I gotta be honest. I think one of the things that I've realized is that I don’t know Will at all," Pinkett said.

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith
Bennett Raglin/BET/Getty Images

She went on to explain that life got in the way of really getting to know Will on a deeper level. Even though they have have been married for over two decades and have children together, Jada said that both of them had work family get in the way of learning about each other as partners.

"I feel like there's a layer that you get to, life gets busy and you create these stories in your head and then you hold onto these stories and that is your idea of your partner, that’s not who your partner is," she said.

And now that they're spending so much time togehter, Jada said that she's taking the time and "going through the process of having to dissolve all of those stories and all the ideas of Will" so get to a more "intimate" level.

"This is intimacy," Jada said. "Just being able to get to who our loved ones are beyond that which we have perceived."

They're starting at the very beginning, she explained. First, they're learning to be friends and after that, they'll work on intimacy on every level.

"Will and I are in the process of him taking the time to learn to love himself, me taking the time to learn to love myself and us building a friendship along the way," she noted, adding that it's a big move to acknowledge that she and Will don't know each other. "Let me tell you, that’s been something to be married to somebody 20-some odd years and realize I don’t know you and you don't know me and also realizing there’s an aspect of yourself you don't know either."

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