"Do not defend me. What I did, what I said was indefensible."

By Alicia Brunker
Updated May 31, 2020 @ 1:15 pm
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Two weeks after using the N-word during an Instagram Live earlier this month, The Bachelorette's Hannah Brown just gave an on-camera apology to fans.

Brown first faced backlash for the racial slur while singing along to DaBaby's "Rockstar." She wrote an apology a few hours later, and critics — including friend and fellow Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay — were disappointed by her insincerity. Now, amid the death of George Floyd and Black Lives Matter protests across the country, Hannah appears to be holding herself accountable for her actions.

On Saturday, the reality first shared a quote by social justice artist Ricardo Levins Morales on her grid:

She then followed up with a tearful video, where she candidly spoke about the scandal. "I've been trying for a long time to figure out how I would address everything," Brown began, before answering, "Why now? Why did it take me so long?"

"I wanted it to be the right time and I've been so concerned with not taking up space with all the events going on and the death of George Floyd happening and there's so much suffering and anger and I didn't want to offend anybody," she explained. "But I realized it's not about the right time, it's about the right thing."

During her time of self-reflection, Hannah revealed that she has been "completely focused on educating" herself on racism and hired an "educator" to help her "understand the things that I've never even have been taught."

"To be honest I didn't know a lot, I don't want to be ignorant anymore," she continued. "I don't want to be an ignorant white girl who uses the N-word, but I also don't want to be someone who goes onto a platform intoxicated and engages in their platform that way."

Before ending her live video, Brown asked fans to not defend her, saying: "What I did, what I said was indefensible. I don't need anybody to defend me for what I did because what I said, what I did was wrong. But I'm hoping that what I did was wrong but what I didn't know even before is the worst part of it, and it's the ignorance. I'm no longer ignorant and I'm no longer going to be part of the problem."

Instead, she vowed to be part of the solution, adding that she'll "be better" in the future. Watch the entire clip, above.