By Isabel Jones
Updated Oct 03, 2018 @ 11:45 am

In stories we never thought we’d writing, a Drew Barrymore profile appeared in a recent issue of Egypt Air’s in-flight magazine, Horus, and it’s really, really bad.

We’re not trying to drag anyone, but between the grammatical issues, references to Barrymore’s “unstable” relationships (17 of them, apparently), and quotes that are pretty unbelievable (she gives advice to “overweight” women), the piece is a legitimate disaster — and best of all, Barrymore’s reps are claiming she “did not participate” in the interview. They added that they are in the process of "working with the airline PR team."

Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/Getty Images

The interview begins where every great interview should — with a run-on description of the subject’s personal failures: “Despite being unstable in her relationships most of her life, despite the several unsuccessful marriages and despite the busy life of stardom that has dominated her life for several years; the beautiful American Hollywood actress Drew Barrymore has recently decided to temporary [sic] take an unlimited vacation to play her most crucial role as a mother.”

If that sounds bad, don’t worry, it gets worse. In the next paragraph, the writer analyzes Barrymore (and her relationships, again), writing, “It is known [editor's note: it really isn’t] that Barrymore has had almost 17 relationships, engagements and marriages; psychologists believe that her behavior is only natural since she lacked the male role model in her life after her parents’ divorce when she was only 9 years old” (!!!).

The interview continues in a similar vein. At one point, Barrymore’s interviewer “tells” her that she gained weight after the birth of her last child and was accused of “being overweight and neglecting your health” by fans. However, she’s now “returned to [her] previous graceful body.” Instead of flipping the reporter the bird (which is what we’d like to imagine Drew would actually do in this situation), she says, “I find this a great opportunity to encourage every woman who is overweight to work on regaining her beauty and body, especially that it is not as hard as one may think.”

Are you screaming? I'm screaming.

Though Egypt Air has yet to issue an official statement on the article, the airline responded to a tweet questioning its veracity.

“Dear sir, this a professional magazine interview conducted by Dr. Aida Tekla Former president of the HFPA (Hollywood Foreign Press Association) and one of the voting members of the Golden Globes,” they tweeted.

The byline on the interview reads “Aida Tekla.” The former HFPA president’s name is Aida Takla-O’Reilly — so either Horus made a glaring typo (not the first), or Aida Tekla and Aida Takla-O’Reilly are not the same person.

The mystery lives on.