An Open Letter to Cate Blanchett's Skin
I’ve admired your work for years! Under the glare of red carpet lights, broadcast on high-def screens, caught by the harsh lens of a sneaky paparazzo—you are always radiant. I think I can safely speak for my fellow pale people when I ask: Would you be our spokesperson? Actually, scratch that; you already, unofficially, are. You make it look glamorous—not ghostly. And as a result, baking in the sun (a very dangerous activity) and slathering on self-tanner (a laborsome one) seem less and less attractive.
But paleness and blondeness is the extent of our similarities. I can’t fathom the thought of you ever waking up with dark circles or dullness or pimples (or a bad attitude, for that matter). Seriously, do you ever? I’ve seen you up close—once at a party that I am not nearly fancy enough to have been at, and most recently at the SK-II pop-up studio in Soho—and both times you looked almost unreal. No doubt, you won the genetics lottery. But I also believe your commitment to a skincare routine (something derms preach constantly), namely SK-II, helps. That stuff is good—the line's star ingredient was discovered by monks. In my book, that means it's #blessed. In the hopes that if I do as you do, I'll look like you, but not in a Single White Female way, I keep my apartment fully stocked with those masks, and I honestly do not care who sees me wearing them. My apartment super came over the other day to fix something, and I refused to take the mask off as he tinkered away at my sink, not before my skin sucked up every ounce of glow-boosting goodness.
So, best of luck at the many appearances you’ll be making over the next few months—I know Cate (such a friendly, approachable name, right?) is out and about promoting two different movies, Truth and Carol, both of which are generating a lot of Oscar buzz. This doesn’t surprise me. Because as incredible as you are, Cate Blanchett's most resplendent quality is—without a doubt—her talent.
Your biggest fan,