By Alexandra Whittaker
Updated: Sep 17, 2018 @ 4:56 pm

Carrie Underwood's pregnancy news was a joy to hear, but it came after a private struggle that she's only now speaking out about.

The singer revealed in an interview with CBS Sunday Morning that she suffered three miscarriages over the last couple years while trying to get pregnant with her husband, Mike Fisher. "I'd kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby. We got pregnant early 2017, and didn't work out," she said.

Underwood and Fisher have a 3-year-old boy, Isaiah Michael, but the road to having baby number two has been more elusive. 

"In the beginning it was like, 'Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn't Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it,'" she said. "And got pregnant again in the spring, and it didn't work out. Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn't work out. So, at that point, it was just kind of like, 'Okay, like, what's the deal? What is all of this?'"

After going through this for two years, Underwood would get right back to writing new music despite the pain she was in, but the highs and lows of pregnancy and miscarriage took a toll — and had her grappling with how to talk to God about it.

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"I had always been afraid to be angry," Underwood said. "Because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he's the best thing in the world. And I'm like, 'If we can never have any other kids, that's okay, because he's amazing.' And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can't. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No."

RELATED: Carrie Underwood’s Comments About Fertility Leave Fans Divided

That changed slightly when she thought she had yet another miscarriage. The fear that another baby wouldn't happen after all took hold of her, and that's when she let it all out. 

"Mike was away just for the evening, and I texted him, and I was like, 'I don't really want to be alone, so I'm just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah.' And I don't know how I didn't wake him up, but I was just sobbing," Underwood said. "And I was like, 'Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can't have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.'"

"And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt. And I feel, like, we're supposed to do that. That was like a Saturday — and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great! And I was like, 'You heard me.' Not that He hasn't in the past. But maybe, I don't know, He heard me."

Knowing the full situation really puts Underwood's previously controversial comments about fertility after 35 in a whole new light. We wish the family the best with baby number two. 

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