By Mariah Smith
Dec 03, 2018 @ 12:00 pm
ABC

Now that Thanksgiving is firmly behind us, we can move on to more pressing holiday news. No, not Christmas, Hanukkah or the endless list of office and acquaintance holiday parties you’ve been invited to and inexplicably agreed to attend. The pressing holiday news that I’m eager to share with you, dear reader, is about Colton Underwood on the 23rd season of The Bachelor. You may remember Underwood as the former NFL playing Virgin from Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette, or the man who broke Tia’s heart when he couldn’t commit on Bachelor in Paradise this past summer. You may have also clicked this article because you remembered that he dated Olympian Aly Raisman before his reality TV success.

Whatever the case may be, that's him: Colton. And he's back.

Though season 23 doesn’t premiere until January 2019, Colton’s journey towards love has been heavily discussed in the media since he began filming. Whispers about who won, who got eliminated, and Colton's rumored virginity have been circulating through Bachelor nation for weeks. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m responsible for more than my fair share of clicks on spoilers and news from the upcoming season, and I feel a massive urge to share some with you now. Again, the below includes The Bachelor season 23 spoilers, Colton-related predictions, and season 23 approximations. Continue reading at your own risk.

Colton Will Make Up His Own Rules

Bachelor Nation king Reality Steve, the patriarch of The Bachelor spoiler community, revealed that Colton will go off script by eliminating two of his final three women outside the confines of a final rose ceremony. This might seem like small potatoes, but he’s literally the first Bachelor ever to not have two women vying for the final rose. Some Bachelorettes, like Rachel Lindsay (who surprised everyone by picking Bryan Abasolo) and Andi Dorfman, have done this, but never a Bachelor. Should be interesting to see how this plays out.

Colton Will Likely Lose His Virginity on National Television — Or At Least Talk About It

Despite Colton being adamant that he didn’t want his virginity to be a main storyline this season, somehow, it is. In fact, the majority of the show’s promo has revolved around it. Colton has also been clear that he’s willing to sleep with the right girl and for the right reasons, and just days after his final day of filming, he’s joked about impregnating the winner. All things considered, Colton is probably going to have sex this season, and even if he doesn’t, it’s going to be a major point of conversation.

It’s Unlikely That Colton Will Marry His Final Pick

Generally, the outcome of The Bachelor is supposed to be a wedding. However, it's probable that Colton isn’t really here for all of that. For one, perhaps more so than his predecessors (yes, even big Bachelor Nation names like Arie Luyendyk Jr, Nick Viall, and more) he’s been pretty reckless on social media, trolling his fan and followers about the results (which, let's be real, is likely causing a problem for the producers, who prefer the contestants remain as tight-lipped as possible). If Colton is kiki-ing on Instagram now, before the season even begins, it probably means that he's living for this limelight — and if he actually falls in love and gets married, his 15 minutes (and options for more reality television shows) could be over. Something tells me that's not going to happen — but who knows. Colton could have a plot twist up his sleeve.