By Mariah Smith
Updated Sep 06, 2018 @ 1:00 pm

Subject: John Graham

Age: 28

Occupation: Programmer, Venmo founding team member

It’s time you get to know the real prince of Paradise, Venmo John. Propelled by the thick heat of the Mexican sun, Venmo John swooped into Paradise, stealing the hearts of a string of women. Having kissed eight women and “seriously” dated three in Paradise, he’s got the highest count of the season. But he’s no player — it truly seems like each new woman to walk onto that beach steals his heart. The dude’s just got a lot of love to give, okay?

Personally, I’m a Venmo John stan, and I’ll tell you why.

After his not-so-successful stint on Becca’s season of The Bachelorette (he got booted after five episodes), John was given a second shot at love by the powers that be at ABC. Which is only fair considering it took him “a few weeks” to get comfortable on The Bachelorette, and by that time it was too late. Anyone who has social anxiety, or has just ever dated in the real world, can understand that. But in Paradise, he “hit the ground running,” because the setting is “a little more natural, where you can sit with somebody and spend a whole day or just five minutes.”

And he was welcomed with open arms because Venmo John may just be the most eligible bachelor the franchise has ever seen. I mean, the least interesting thing about this adonis is that you could sharpen Emeril Lagasse’s knives on his abs. John’s a super-athletic, outdoorsy guy, who’s run two marathons (Chicago and New York City) and casually jogs across the Golden Gate bridge. And, remember how great he was at log climbing? But John also doesn’t make his body a major focus on the show because he’s just a secure dude keeping it tight for himself and not the cameras!

More importantly, John’s got has a tight brain. John graduated from Columbia University in 2011 with a degree in computer science — but not before being the hot TA for a coding class there. As we know, he went on to create the Venmo app for the iPhone, was one of the first five employees at the company, and left the shortly after the app was acquired. Meaning, this man has serious programming skills (also likely a paycheck to match, a point underscored by the fact that he’s pictured waving a wad of cash around in the show’s opening credits).

The attribute that really makes us melt, though? John’s trophy shelf of accomplishments aside, he still doesn’t take himself too seriously. His LinkedIn photo is a goofy shot of him in a pink shirt and suspenders, and his Instagram is full of similarly whimsical photos. Plus, you know, he went on The Bachelorette.

After he was eliminated from Becca’s season, John told The Washington Postthat he’s not all about that nerd life; he’s a three-dimensional guy. “Yeah, I’m a programmer. And yeah, I like to talk about optimizing my algorithms on a near-daily basis for work. But outside of work, I like to turn it off and unplug. I try to really have a balanced lifestyle. When I’m not at work, I’m out with friends … [and] I really enjoy cooking.”

Oh, he’s also a new dog dad to rescue pup Patty and a model for Venmo ads in Manhattan.

Can you hear the Hadids dumping their boyfriends while reading this?