By BIBIANA JULIAN
Updated: Aug 24, 2018 @ 1:49 pm
ABC

Krystal likes Chris, Chris likes Tia, Tia likes Colton — we’ve upgraded the infamous Paradise love triangle to an official love square. (And I love Yuki trying to figure this one out. She is my favorite.)

Chris, a.k.a Goose, really pissed Tia off, and I am not going to defend Chris here, because we all know he doesn't do a good job of explaining himself when it comes to romance. This guy made zero sense when he was approached by both Tia and Krystal about where he stands with regard to them. He quite possibly broke the record for the most contradictions in a five-minute conversation. Chris’s mistake comes down to the fact the he’s not honest or clear from the get go. Why is it so hard to be honest? We all know it’s possible (thanks to Jordan and Kevin!). Then Chris called himself a “pawn” in this geometric love mess.

But come on, Chris, you knew as well as all of us that Tia was never as interested in you as she was in Colton. This probably played out in her favor, as she gracefully removed herself from that ever-evolving love quadrilateral.

Here Comes the Fairy Love Mother (a.k.a. Me!)

This week was a tough one for us ladies. I felt like a school bus arrived and dropped off a new class of nice-smelling girls — and I was forced into early graduation. If I remember this day correctly, I admittedly had some tequila and felt like I was living my best life. Maybe deep down inside I knew my chances of sticking around were shot and I thought, “Let’s make the best of it!” Hence my lack of hair-and-make up efforts.

Let’s just say Paradise forces a “make under” on some of us; it’s hot and sweaty and there isn’t enough setting spray in the world to make a done face last through a day. That fresh-lash, glowing-skin look sheds quickly in Paradise, and I was more interested in enjoying the rest of my time there than I was in re-applying highlighter.

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And then there was more Tia and Colton drama. Everyone at this point was just so tired of the back and forth. We all wanted to shake them both and tell them to either get back together or move on with someone else. Seeing how Colton became overprotective of Tia, all of a sudden expressing disinterest in other women, I was like, “Dude, you obviously like her. Move it or lose it!” Paradise is so emotionally draining, and a lot of us get caught up in the what-ifs and the pressure of possibly getting engaged at the end of it all. It’s easy to forget about living in the moment.

I can thank the tequila for making me wiser that day and spitting some Mama Bibi advice to everyone. Call me the fairy love mother or the Paradise camp counselor, but I was happy to see my friends finally figuring things out — and trust me, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Tia and Colton finally got together.

Krystal Is a Villain No More!

My heart-to-heart with Krystal was one of my top moments this episode. I’m happy it actually made the final cut because Krystal and I were really able to put our rocky past behind us and make the best of our time together in Paradise — and that moment really shone. Krystal and I were pretty much in Paradise to play the same game: test the waters (and see if there were any waves worth riding). We weren’t after the same guy, so we didn’t feel competitive, which worked in our favor. I wanted to reassure her that if she felt a connection with Chris, she should go for it, even though the situation seemed complicated. Having been pinned as the villain in Arie’s season, Krystal wanted to be careful not to step on anyone's toes, which I thought was really respectful. But in my eyes, Krystal has totally been pardoned as Villain of Bachelor Nation. I actually really enjoyed hanging out with her.

RELATED: How Tia Became Bachelor in Paradise's Most Controversial and Beloved Character

Trading Tequila Shots for Therapy

Let’s face it: I basically spent my last episode in Paradise handing out couples’ therapy sessions. Pour me another and send in the next couple! I sense I would’ve been busy on the following episode, which was nothing short of drama-filled. Bachelor Nation, how would you feel about a peer therapist role on the next season…? Bibi for Paradise Bartender? ;)

Who Kissed Kenny?

Yeah, that happened. Kenny and I shared a kiss. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. When I took Kenny aside, I wasn’t trying to sell myself for a rose. I sat down with him to feel him out, and after he made a move on me I felt like, “Okay, maybe there’s a real chance here.”

A little birdie told me that Kenny had actually already decided to give his rose to Annaliese before the ceremony, and after hearing that, I felt like this is exactly why it’s hard for me to be vulnerable and let people in. If he knew he wasn’t going to keep me around, why treat me like I’m the woman you can see by his side? I see your game Kenny, but we’ll circle back to this once I’ve sorted out my feelings.

Packing My Bags :(

That’s all for me in Paradise, folks! But as cliche as this will sound, I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t think I was meant to find love in Paradise — although it would've been nice to at least find someone to sleep in AC with. By which I mean, the Boom Boom Rooms are the only rooms with AC. Talk about a bonus!

RELATED: Jordan Was Crushing Hard on This Bachelor in Paradise Contestant Before She Even Arrived

But was I happy Kenny sent me home? Of course not. I don’t think the rest of the cast was either — who’s going to counsel the camp kids now?!

Paradise allowed me to watch my friends form new relationships and also gave me a chance to make some new male friends — which is sort of new for me. Still, coming back home felt off and wrong, and I definitely wanted my chance to go back. A part of me questioned whether I did something “wrong” or what I could have done differently, as though I were going through a breakup: Did I talk too much? Did I give people too much advice? But watching the show on air in the aftermath, I’m grateful that viewers got to see those sides of me. For as feisty and opinionated as I may be, I’m also a hopeless romantic. My guy just wasn't on that beach.

But my new ride or die was! (Hey, Astrid!) And for now, that’s enough for me.

And fear not, readers, I’ll still be back next episode with that inside scoop and sideline commentary. It only gets juicier from here on out.

XO

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