As it turns out, Amy Schumer’s wedding vows were as hilarious as you'd expect from the bride. The newlywed has revealed more details about her intimate ceremony—and opened up about her relationship with new husband Chris Fischer in the process.
Schumer called in to Nikki Glaser’s new SiriusXM show, You Up, on Monday and dished about the vows she wrote in “like 20 minutes.” As expected, they were both hilarious and heartfelt. One example of a line: “You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.” Considering she married an award-winning chef, that last part is truly meaningful.
“In my vows, I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t,’” she joked. “And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f—ing loser.’ It was all like, awful sh—.”
“All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him,” she joked, though she admitted that Fischer’s vows were even better than her own. “I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard.”
Schumer, 36, and her new husband had quite the whirlwind romance, but that doesn’t make their marriage any less meaningful. In fact, she believes they’re even more in love than if they had waited a few more months or years to tie the knot. “Part of the thing that’s good about us getting married so quickly is that we’re so in love,” she said. “Every girl I know, if they get proposed to they’re like, ‘Oh now? Now that I can’t have kids!’”
“It feels f—king good,” she continued about married life. “I’m a wife as hell. But it’s still, like, a novelty.”
“I have just been really overusing it to a degree that’s insane. Like, when it’s completely uncalled for.”
As Schumer would say, congratulations to this happy husband and wife.