Martha Stewart's Pant-Shoes Are the Most Confusing Thing I've Ever Seen in My Life

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Martha Stewart
Martha Stewart. Photo: MediaPunch/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images

While scrolling through celebrity photos this morning, I thought Martha Stewart was just wearing a simple pair of brown leather leggings. It all seemed innocent enough.

But upon further inspection, it looked as though her espadrille wedges were connected to these so-called leggings. In the era of joots, we can never be too sure. No pants-boots combo is safe from being combined into one extremely hard-to-clean ensemble, like the one Julia Fox recently wore for a date night with Kanye West.

Was Stewart on her way to meet Ye? Unlikely, considering it was Fox's birthday last night, which she celebrated with her new boyfriend at Lucien in the East Village, of course. Julia Fox, though, is a pioneer of the joots movement — along with none other than Kim Kardashian — so Stewart wearing this perplexing brown legging espadrille wedge look (ledges?) on the eve of Fox's birth feels like destiny.

But after zooming in multiple times on the image of Stewart's outfit, I feel just as confused as I did originally. The leggings look like they slip over her feet with a peep-toe and a cut-out near the heel bone. But it also seems plausible that the leggings are tucked into espadrille wedges in an identical color. Anything is possible these days. And if any 80 year-old were to try the look that all of Kanye's girlfriends have made popular, it would be Martha Stewart.

There's no more information on Stewart's look on the internet, so I'm going to choose to believe she is wearing a leather legging-espadrille hybrid that's unlike anything the world has ever seen before. Whether they're connected or not, joots, loots, and all of their confusing pantashoe cousins are happening, and they're extremely hard to come by. The next best thing is to just find bottoms and footwear that look nearly identical, and tuck them into each other. Whichever Stewart is doing, it's hot — in the most unconventional way.

Personally, Stewart's look has taken me through all seven stages of grief. I was shocked but now I'm accepting that this is a very 2022 look after all, regardless of what it is exactly. So will I be shopping for leather leggings to tuck into all my leather shoes until I can get my hands on some joots? Yes, yes I will. Long live loots!

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