Swiping on the apps? Here's a closer look at how every astrological sign presents themselves — including that guy posing with a fish.

By Sara Coughlin
Jun 08, 2020 @ 6:27 pm
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Credit: Anchiy/Getty

Aside from the sun rising and setting every day, one of the few things we can always count on is people being wildly themselves on dating apps. There are the people who don’t want anything serious, those who look good in every photo, the outdoorsy folks who seem to live off of rainbow chard.

Despite the fact that it’s more than possible to find The One online, there are certain “types” you get to know the longer you spend swiping — and, in the same way that every astrological sign is associated with certain personality traits, so, too, does every sign fit into one of these types.

Here, we’ll take a closer look at how every sign in the Zodiac presents themselves on the apps.

Aries

The one who roasts your profile.

Remember the kid who kicked you in the shins to show how much they liked you back in first grade? That kid was more than likely an Aries, and they are now grown up and poking fun at the photo of you and your cat. Ruled by Mars, the planet of action and conflict, Rams don’t mind stirring up a little trouble if it means a conversation follows. In fact, they probably don’t even mean to be, well, mean — this sign’s playful side comes alive in moments of direct discussion, debate, and confrontation. If you can match them with an equally spicy jab, they’ll be putty in your hands.

Taurus

The one who stays in.

They’ve mastered Netflix-and-chilling. They link out to their Etsy page. They make a mean carbonara. They describe themselves as “old souls.” And, in showing off these parts of their persona, these people honor the Taurus values of leisure, stability, and physical comfort. Of course, this homebody kind of lifestyle has been meme fodder for years, but Taureans are much more than a wine-o-clock joke. With their love of creature comforts comes a respect for your own personal needs, not to mention a deep understanding of the value of self-care. To put it another way, Tauruses give the best backrubs.

Gemini

The one who isn't interested in committing (and is upfront about it).

A survey of 1,300 U.S. users on the dating app Plenty of Fish found that only about 36% of Geminis are looking for “something serious.” While this doesn’t mean that every single Gemini will love you and leave you, it does reflect the common Gemini tendency toward restlessness and distraction. Within moments of meeting a Gemini, online or IRL, it’ll become abundantly clear that they thrive on near-constant stimulation. What’s new, what’s exciting, what’s the most cutting-edge, will take priority until the mood strikes to finally settle down.

Cancer

The one with their friends' kids in their photos.

Yes, it’s a little misleading, but they just want you to know that they are very, very good with kids (photos with cats or dogs are an acceptable alternative). Caring, if not downright maternal, instincts are part of the deal with Cancers — they’re naturally protective of themselves and their loved ones, which can make them difficult to get to know at first. If you welcome the challenge to crack their hard, moody shell, you stand a chance at entering their inner circle.

Leo

The one with the best photos.

Seriously, Leos could find their light in a coat closet — and the array of photos on their profile will prove as much. In other words, this is not a profile of nothing but mirror selfies. Leos’ profiles will showcase their regal looks, their vast group of friends, and their favorite places and things to do, painting a near-complete, extremely aesthetically pleasing portrait of their lives in the process. As a group, Leos are usually very proud of the lives they create for themselves, so they see nothing wrong with showing them off. Sure, a little bragging might come along with their well-earned pride, but wouldn’t you be willing to put up with that if it meant joining them in their flawless light?

Virgo

The one who seems to live at the farmer’s market.

Thanks to their elemental ruler, earth, Virgos tend to have a crunchy side. This is most likely balanced out by an inner tidiness, given this sign’s penchant for order, but you’ll definitely see more of the former than the latter on their dating profiles. In addition to farm stand photos (and the corresponding clean eating shout out), they may also highlight their passion for Danner boots, burgeoning kombucha business, or the odd John Muir quote.

Libra

The one who actually knows how to flirt.

In its survey, Plenty of Fish found that 70% of Libras said they’re the ones who send the first message. Not only are we not surprised, but we're also nodding with approval. Known for their charisma and charm, Libras may be the only people who can make a text via dating app feel not only breezy and casual but actually enticing. Just be careful you don’t fall too hard for their witty repartee — when words come as easily as they do for a Libra, they can be taken to heart in a way they weren’t intended. As we said before, keep things breezy and you’ll have a blast.

Scorpio

The one without a bio.

You can be lifelong friends with a Scorpio and feel like you only know about a fifth of their life story — such is the way with this extremely private water sign. So, even if they're on the apps of their own volition, looking for a potential romantic connection, they probably give much away upfront. If you’re lucky, they’ll list their age and location. Simply put, if you want to get to know a Scorpio, you’ll have to work for it — and by “work” we mean you should lead with the darkest joke you know.

Sagittarius

The one posing with a fish.

Maybe it isn’t a fish — maybe they’re holding with a boa constrictor, jumping out of a helicopter, or scaling an ancient ruin. Regardless of what, exactly, a Sag is doing in their profile pic, you can likely assume they aren’t sitting quietly at home. This intrepid sign needs someone who can (and is actually willing) to keep up with them, whether they’re ice climbing or taking up ventriloquism. Expect some world travel flexing, at least one mention of wanderlust, and small talk that veers into philosophical exchanges.

Capricorn

The one who jokes about their caffeine addiction. 

Don’t message a Cap before they’ve had their morning coffee (or their afternoon cold brew or post-dinner espresso, for that matter.) We might be exaggerating about their actual java intake, but one thing’s for sure: This sign is busy — and they will frequently allude to that fact when you chat. Work’s been wild; marathon training is no joke; and don’t even get them started about all their plans for the summer. Lucky for you, if there’s a spark, this hardworking sign will pencil in plenty of time for you.

Aquarius

The one whose bio solely consists of emojis.

What, you thought you’d learn about their likes, dislikes, and possibly their height? No, people born under this individualist air sign are weird — and they like it that way. Luckily, that series of speaking heads, aliens, clouds, and even a rogue cyclone are an invitation. Will you be the rare soul to figure them out, to crack their code, so to speak? Although Aquarians may appear aloof or distant, they can be stunning conversationalists, if you can get them going. Pique their interest by firing off your own emoji code in your first message.

Pisces

The one who wants to know your sign.

More accurately, a Pisces will probably try to flat-out guess your sign. Let’s be clear, though: They aren’t asking because they’ve sworn off all Scorpios or anything so dismissive. Pisces people want to get to know their potential dates on a deeper, more personal level, often sooner than most people. So, in addition to your childhood, favorite animal, and possibly your enneagram, they will ask you about your astrological makeup — and maybe even offer to read your chart for you. Think of it as a bit of cosmic foreplay.