How To Find The Best Sex Partner For Your Sign, According To A Sexual Astrologer
The zodiac influences chemistry in some surprising ways.
Like many daily horoscope-readers and casual retrograde-followers, Dossé-Via Trenou-Wells first became interested in astrology as an extracurricular curiosity, noticing the connections between planetary movements and emotional energy. As a college student, Trenou-Wells taught herself how to read her friends’ birth charts using guides and tutorials she found online. The more she learned, the more interested she became in exploring astrology as a path to self-discovery. Trenou-Wells is a Scorpio, a sign that’s often known for being as notoriously dark, dramatic, and sex-obsessed as it is stereotyped.
“I’ve had moments of feeling very misunderstood, but astrology really helped my understanding of my relationship with others,” Trenou-Wells tells InStyle. As the founder of KnowTheZodiac, in-house astrologer for SexZodiac, and creator of the celebrity-endorsed Twitter account @ScorpioMystique, Trenou-Wells believes in astrology as a tool for building community and learning to empathize with other signs and personality types, as well as exploring a healthy, fulfilling sex life.
“So many people can really benefit from having a spiritual tool that helps them better understand themselves and their sexual compatibility with other people,” Trenou-Wells explains. “I do a lot of compatibility reports with people, where I see people's charts and advise them on what might be some of the challenges in their relationship, and what might be some of the most exciting things that keep them together. Astrology can be a way to accept our sexual natures without judgment.”
It can also help us explain the unexplainable — the intense infatuation and wild attraction that draws us to certain sexual or romantic partners. “When you become intimate with astrology you start to realize that not everything is random at all,” Trenou-Wells says. “There are really powerful connections between you and someone you were very attracted to.”
Whether you’re on your own or with a partner, a birth-chart reading can provide inspiration and clarity for anyone feeling sexually uninspired, and your sun sign can be a great way to identify who you should be having sex with — and who you might want to avoid. Here's everything you need to know.
Fire Signs and Air Signs
The fire signs — Aries, Sagittarius, and Leo — are adventurous, spontaneous and full of unpredictability. They crave constant change, and they’re generally on the lookout for someone to push them out of their comfort zone — a best friend who’s fun and adventurous both in and out of the bedroom.
Fire burns the brightest when there’s plenty of oxygen, and when these signs get together with air signs Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius, the sexual chemistry is usually hot. Both air and fire signs can’t stand boring, routine sex, and together, this pairing will be endlessly stimulating, fueling each other’s need for excitement and surprises.
“Air and fire signs tend to have the most fun in the bedroom,” Trenou-Wells says. She explains that air signs don’t usually take themselves very seriously, so their breezy outlook and playful approach to sex balances out their fiery partners’ intense sexual energy. Fire signs hate boredom too much to be jealous or attached to one partner at a time, which gives their Gemini, Libra, and Aquarian partners the space they need to flirt, socialize, and explore sexually without feeling held back.
Which Signs Air and Fire Should Avoid
According to Trenou-Wells, fire signs may have an especially difficult time making a sexual connection with earth sign Virgo. “Virgos tend to be nitpicky and overly critical, and Aries just wants to live their life without judgment,” Trenou-Wells explains. Virgo’s tendency to get lost in thought can also annoy a Leo partner, especially when their mind occasionally wanders during sex — remember, Leos absolutely must be the center of attention at all times.
Air signs like Libra may also want to avoid Virgos; Libras are known for being flirtatious and airy, and Virgo’s critical tendencies can turn inward, quickly spiraling into feelings of insecurity.
More generally, all air signs find intelligence to be a major turn-on, but should think twice before pairing up with another air sign.
“Two Air signs may have more of a platonic, intellectual connection rather than a wildly sexual one,” Trenou-Wells said. In general, fire signs generally have enough smarts to satisfy air signs’ sapiosexual leanings, and their connection has much more potential to get physical.
Water and Earth Signs
Water signs like Scorpio, Cancer, and Pisces tend to be more profound and sensitive. Typically craving monogamy, they might not be satisfied with a one-night stand or an unpredictable, flirty partner.
“Those three water signs tends to be much more emotional than the rest of the zodiac signs, and they also tend to want to feel like they are intimately tied with someone,” Trenou-Wells says. These signs tend to seek sex partners who aren’t easily scared off or afraid of catching feelings, and crave undivided attention and loyalty.
Earth signs Virgo, Taurus, and Capricorn — usually the practical, slow-and-steady type — tend to be ideal sex partners for water signs. “They will show you that they care for you through the actions,” Trenou-Well says, “Like booking your doctor appointment when they know that you're not feeling well, cooking your favorite meal, or getting you an amazing outfit for a big promotion.”
In other words, earth signs are givers who remember the little details that make you feel special, which means that they can ultimately provide the sexual intimacy that water signs tend to crave.
Which Signs Water and Earth Should Avoid
For water signs to Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces, an Aquarius might signal a red flag — or at least, a clash in sex styles. Aquarians tend to keep their feelings under wraps, and they’re generally difficult to read.
“Pisces is least sexually compatible with Aquarius because they aren't able to get inside their head and understand their needs, and that can be frustrating,” Trenou-Wells said. Aquarius' emotional detachment during sex can also make Cancers feel insecure, and Scorpios, who live to “figure out” their partners, can lose patience with Aquarius’ unusual ability to play it cool with their emotions.
Generally, earth signs seek deep, long-lasting sexual relationships that they can rely on — which makes them a tough match for fire and air signs, who live more in the moment and have an easier time moving from partner to partner. Capricorn and Taurus, for example, may not sexually vibe with a fire sign like Sagittarius, or an air sign like Gemini. “Taurus seek more stability than Saggitarius can provide,” Trenou-Wells explains, “and Capricorn may seek greater depth in the connection than Gemini is initially able to provide.”
Though a birth chart reading can give you insight into your past partners, your sexual patterns you want to change, and what you’re really looking for, it’s important to remember that no two signs are ever totally compatible, nor are they totally incompatible. Online quizzes and sex horoscopes can be fun, but don’t let them rule your sex life.
“I feel like that's one of the biggest errors in our dating lives, that we've been letting the surface-level astrology affect our compatibility decisions,” Trenou-Wells said. “In reality, when you know your partners chart and they know your chart, it's a really intimate connection.” Some sexual pairings, like seemingly opposite signs Gemini and Scorpio, might just take some extra effort to make it work. “Maybe they came into your life to teach you patience, or teach you not to be possessive of a lover, or teach you trust,” Trenou-Wells said. “If you take the time to know each other’s birth chart, you will be able to overcome many of the potential challenges.”