In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sexiest questions — unjudged and unfiltered.

By Dr. Jenn Mann
Aug 14, 2019 @ 9:00 am
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DEAR DR. JENN,

I have been having what I thought was a summer fling. But as we get closer to the summer ending, I realize that I have totally caught feelings for him. I think he feels the same way about me. How do I know if this could be the real thing? - Summer Lovin’

DEAR SUMMER LOVIN,

So happy to hear you have been having such a fun, romantic summer! While many summer flings have an autumn expiration date, there are also plenty that go the distance. I have a close friend who met her husband at the beach during a European vacation with some friends. Even though they were from two different countries and they both thought it was just a summer thing, they ended up getting married. They’ve been together for 30 years, and have kids. 

Maybe your summer romance won’t turn into a LTR — but if you have a feeling that it might, here are some signs that could confirm whether or not it’s the real deal.

1. You are making future plans. This only counts if it goes both ways. Don’t be fooled by fantasy plans that aren’t concrete. Anyone can say they want to take you to Paris, but we are talking about nailing down specific dates and plans. Real life events that involve RSVPs, plans with friends or trips that involve tickets and booking a hotel are great signs that someone is actually interested in making future plans together.

2. You are being integrated into his life. Being introduced to friends, coworkers or family is a big deal. It is a sign that not only does he enjoy your company, but he wants to integrate you into his life.

3. You communicate well together. The ability to have mature but difficult discussions is an important marker for a relationship to go the distance. If the two of you are not skilled in this area, or push each other‘s buttons, that’s not a total dealbreaker — as long as you are willing to put in the time to improve. Working through things instead of walking away is a good sign for a future.

RELATED: Does Taking a Break in a Relationship Ever Work Out?

4. You survived your first argument. Conflict is growth trying to happen. Being able to use your differences to better understand one another is a healthy sign. Being able to fight fairly, even when triggered, is a key factor in long-term relationship. 

5. Sex has brought you closer together. The ability to have open honest conversation about sex, preferences and desires is an important part of a long-term relationship. Exploring the emotional intimacy that often comes with sexual intimacy is a good sign. 

 

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