'Honesty Bombing' Is the New Post-Quarantine Dating Trend
But is it a good thing?
DEAR DR. JENN,
Now that I'm fully vaccinated I've started getting back into the IRL dating game. But after taking the past year off, I'm finding that my ability to make small talk and present an Instagram-perfect version of my life is gone. I spent a good part of this pandemic alone or with close family and it made me clear that I want a life partner and don't want to play games. I don't want to waste time, but I don't want to scare away a potential partner on date one either. In this post-vaxx dating world, honest is too honest? —Life Is Too Short
DEAR LIFE IS TOO SHORT,
There is nothing like losing a year of your life to a pandemic to make you reevaluate what you want in a relationship and cut to the chase when speaking with a potential partner. People are done wasting time. So, as bars and restaurants reopen and people return to dating, the trend is going to be more honest conversations, whether that's about the desire to have children, or other wants and goals that usually don't come out on the first date. This new trend is called "honesty bombing."
According to a survey done by the dating app Badoo, 72% of singles are more willing to share who they are and what they really are looking for in a relationship than they were prior to the pandemic. And 82% plan to be more open and honest on a first date in order to expedite the dating process. You can also expect more people to talk about issues like mental health, family, historical trauma, politics, and marriage. People are tired of playing games and playing hard to get (69% of people reported being done with that kind of behavior). Bottom line: You will be seeing a lot more people being authentic and vulnerable on a first date.
Cutting through the bullshit is a positive. Life is too short for playing games and surviving a pandemic has hit that home for many. Yes, there's always the danger of overwhelming your date or going in so deep and fast that it creates a false sense of intimacy, but overall this trend towards authenticity is a positive. It will help people figure out if they are compatible much faster.
Dating during quarantine has been very intense. After all, when you have to make decisions about whether dating someone is worth taking the risk of getting a virus that could kill you, you tend to be more selective. And, when you determine that you're going to share a pod, the level of intimacy tends to escalate quickly, making three months of dating in quarantine feel more like three years. Much of that intensity will continue in the post-pandemic dating world. We have all had to reevaluate our priorities, our identities, and what we want in a relationship. This clarity — and honesty — will only help people to better evaluate potential partners for compatibility and longevity.
In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.