this vibrator is designed specifically to stop you from texting your ex

This Vibrator Was Designed Specifically to Stop You From Texting Your Ex This Valentine’s Day

*And* it's 60 percent off.
By Summer Cartwright
Jan 29, 2021 @ 10:41 am
Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.

Remember your ex, who confused your clitoris with your labia? Who did a few seconds of work and had the audacity to ask, "Did you come?" Who had the rhythm of a child playing drums for the first time? 

Unfortunately, you can't fully forget them (even though, apparently, you can haunt them in their dreams), but this Valentine's Day you can get out any desire to rekindle with a vibrator designed to be the opposite of your ex… which basically means it'll make you come every time with no emotional baggage attached. 

You've gotta love technology these days. 

Appropriately designed to look like a heart, the "Don't Text Your Ex" vibrator is similar to other palm-sized toys in that it fits comfortably into your hand for a variety of different-styled uses. 

You can use the all-silicone toy for solo use, but its compact and handheld size makes it a great contender for partner play. It won't get in the way of penetration and can be flipped around however you like for clit stimulation. It comes with one clear and easy-to-reach button in the middle that keeps things simple. To change the vibration — there are 10 different modes — simply press the button. And unlike the flings of your past, this vibrator is built to last. Its run time is a whopping 70 minutes

The heart's top, with the two rounded edges that meet in the middle, can provide pleasure to larger external areas like nipples or a shaft, while the pointed bottom can hone in on specific spots like the clit to build a powerful climax. 

Here are some more of the vibrator's notable features, according to the brand. It "won't ghost you," "knows how to please," and "only stops when you tell it." An added bonus? The simple toy comes with absolutely no mind games or doubt included. 

This Valentine's Day, save yourself some trouble and avoid revisiting past flames. Instead, get with something much more reliable and much less emotional. Shop the anti-ex vibrator below:

Better Love Don't Text Your Ex
Credit: Courtesy

Shop now: $40 (Originally $100); ellaparadis.com