So Uh, What the Hell Are We Supposed to Do for Halloween This Year?

We're obviously still dressing up, but then what?

Women Are TK for Halloween This Year
Photo: Courtesy/Getty Images/Netflix

Coronavirus cases are on the rise, we're less than a week out from Election Day on Nov. 3, and Donald Trump won't denounce the Q-Anon conspiracy theory. In the year 2020, Halloween is every day.

Really, though, when it comes to Oct. 31, what are we supposed to do? The CDC has only doubled down on recommendations to not host large indoor parties with people running around naked from the neck up, and the White House's Super Spreader event is just more proof that you really should listen to the CDC's recommendations, because it turns out they know what's up.

If the whole point of dressing up in a sexy murder hornet costume is for people to see you and tell you that you look hot, is there even still a reason to put on a costume? Just kidding, sharing photos of yourself in sexy costumes is why social media exists. According to a poll of 1,000 Americans conducted by Spirit Halloween, 63% of people still plan to celebrate in some shape or form — even if it's just slapping on a witches' hat and taking a selfie.

There's always the option of drinking some wine (or the spirit of your choice) at home and going to bed early. In fact, many of my colleagues tell me that some version of "drink and sleep" is, like many a Saturday night plan in quarantine, what they have in mind. Remember, there's no hangover cure like sugar, and candy goes on sale Nov. 1!

I spoke with Sarah Chamberlain, CMO and founder of 3Wishes, as well as some Halloween lovers to find out how, exactly, everything will play out this Halloween.

We're still dressing up, obviously.

As it turns out, 2020's tricks make great Halloween costumes. Remember when we all watched Tiger King on Netflix back in April? (Yes, that was this year.) 3 Wishes tell InStyle that Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, and tiger costumes are among the top-sellers this year.

Women Are TK for Halloween This Year

Other popular picks include an orange prison jumpsuit paired with a mugshot letterboard reading "San Francisco's Favorite Aunt," a sexy *murder* hornet, and any kind of biohazard suit. (Editor's note: Please save the actual PPE for healthcare workers. Seriously.)

Women Are TK for Halloween This Year
2020 Spirit Halloween Lookbook. Courtesy

For more DIY looks, try "the Karen," a ninja (or literally any other costume that allows you to wear a mask), or a Mike Pence wig, complete with The Fly.

Women Are TK for Halloween This Year

"The political climate is tense, so we created a debate fly wig," Chamberlain tells us. The wig sold out in three days.

Of course, traditional costumes are always an easy, sure thing. (And don't require a 30-second monologue every time someone asks you, "What are you?")

"Traditional costumes are really popular with our customer base," she adds. "Ninjas, pirates, police officers, soldiers, women's gangsters," as well as French maids and witches are among the top-sellers this year, as every year. If, like me, you were surprised to find police officers among 2020's most popular costumes, Chamberlain says that they're not as popular as in years past, but still selling.

Trick-or-treating, but there's a 6-foot pole involved. (Not a joke.)

Reminder: The CDC is still encouraging mask-wearing, social distancing, and pretty much hourly hand washing. What's not a good social-distancing move? That would be going around to your neighbors' houses and getting up-close-and-personal as your children spew the words "TRICK OR TREAT" directly into other people's homes. Even that bucket of candy left on porches that countless little kids dip their hands into in search of Reese's, the only worthwhile Halloween treat, is likely to be a haven for germs.

In a press release, Spirit Halloween described a solution: "Keep your distance while growing your candy stash with Spirit Halloween's Loot Scoop Treat Bags. These treat bags on a stick are the best way to keep candy collection at arm's length."

Your pillowcase could never.

Zoom parties are the new warehouse parties.

What's the worst part of a Halloween party? The cost of the Uber home. One convenience of 2020, I guess, is that you no longer have to worry about paying your Uber driver a cleaning fee if your full-body makeup wears off on their seats. Yay?

Kat Stroud, 32, tells InStyle that her friend's annual Halloween bash will be replaced with Zoom party with "adult punch" and a "couple of DJs" keeping things bumping. This, of course, after she and her husband hang out with their 4-year-old for a virtual children's party.

"We're doing a whole Jurassic Park-themed living room," she says, adding that her young daughter will dress up as a Velociraptor, she herself is dressing up as Claire, and her husband as Owen from the film. "We arranged with family and friends to do a 'Monster Mash' Zoom dance session — we picked about five Halloween songs, and we're all going to jump on at the same time so we can all show off our costumes, and we're going to vote on best costume, and pretty much have a big Halloween party at home."

Nalini*, from the U.K., also tells InStyle she's having a family party with her husband and two kids, just the four of them. "I have some games planned," she says, and "we will be making some Halloween centerpieces for the dinner table ... We will definitely have sweets for others to pick up, but that will be on our driveway rather than our doorstep."

"We aim to switch on all our lights and stand at the living room window and greet/scare everyone who passes by or comes to pick a treat from the driveway," she adds.

But we know some of you are probably going to throw a house party anyway.

The first rule of ill-advised Halloween parties? You don't talk (read: post IG stories) about the ill-advised Halloween party.

Actually, scratch that. The first rule is to get tested for COVID-19, quarantine for at least two weeks prior to the get-together, and make sure all of the other guests you're inviting follow the same protocol.

I know some of you are going to throw a party, global pandemic be damned. (Is this mostly directed at frat boys? Not no.) But seriously, if you must defy all logic and throw a potential Covid-19 Super Spreader Party, all for the sake of getting drunk whilst wearing funny clothes, at least keep your gatherings to 10 people or fewer. And for the love of Dr. Fauci, wear a mask.

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