The holidays are seriously awesome. You get to eat amazing food, see family and friends you don't get to see every day, and typically, get a good chunk of time off work. But there are definitely a few pains of the holidays to consider before getting off the plane in your hometown. And one of those main pains is pestering family members who love to pry about your relationship status.
It's not all tinsel and mistletoe for those of us who are single. Every year around the holidays, myself and the few other token single cousins will crowd in one corner of the room (typically the corner with the bar) and avoid eye contact with family members making their rounds to the couples and asking personal questions. However, I'll inevitably get cornered at some point by an uncle or grandma (bless her heart) and asked that age-old question—"Rachel, why aren't you dating anyone?" Or, "Sweetie, there must be SO many great guys in N.Y.C." Or my personal favorite, the straightforward, "Why are you always single?"
VIDEO: 5 One-Minute Ways to Feel Your Best
Well fear not, fellow single friends! I've come up with some great responses over the years that will leave your nosy relatives stunned into silence (the ultimate goal, amiright?) Grab a glass of wine, keep your head held high, and use these clever quips.
1. "Wow, how disappointing was that question" AKA the Rihanna Approach
In a 2012 press conference, Rihanna had the best response when asked if she was dating Ashton Kutcher. "Wow, how disappointing was that question," the singer said. "I’m happy and single, if that’s what you’re really asking."
2. "Why settle for just one boyfriend?"
This is sure to shut up Uncle Joe almost immediately.
3. "Why are YOU dating someone?"
Turn it around on them. This question may actually begin an internal existential crisis in the questioning relative's own head.
4. "My dog hasn't approved of anyone yet."
This is true, and I have used it many times. Crazy dog ladies and gents, get on board.
5. "Wait you didn’t hear? I actually got married in August. Sorry, they must have lost your invitation in the mail."
This one is perfect for the future Oscar award-winning actors out there. Bring a prop ring to really sell it.
6. "I've run out of swipes on Tinder, TBH."
Take the honest approach, but be prepared to explain Tinder and the modern world of dating to your grandparents immediately following.
7. "I’d rather have a significant income than a significant other."
BOOM. It's 2017, ya'll and we don't need a man.
8. "Prince Harry is already taken."
Thanks a lot, Meghan Markle.