And they’re the only underwear I’ve ever really loved.

By Tara Gonzalez
Updated Feb 26, 2020 @ 10:45 am
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Stevie + Mada

Against all forms of advice, I use the word ‘love’ liberally. I love my boyfriend and I love my dog, but I also love anything tiny enough to fit in the palm of my hand, most leopard print pieces of clothing, and the way my long acrylic nails sound when I type. Chances are, if you know me, I’ve told you I loved you. And chances are, if you don’t know me, I’ve told you I’ve loved you too. It definitely makes delivery men uncomfortable but I can’t help it. I love a bento box delivered to my door in under twenty minutes and I don’t care who knows.

That being said, in line with what everyone has ever suggested, I don’t use the word hate much at all. Except when I’m talking about my underwear, which I honestly hate very much. And I don’t care if you tell me that’s too strong of a word to describe undergarments because it’s not. The things I love don’t bunch up, make me uncomfortable, or give me a wedgie when I have done nothing to deserve it. That’s not love, that’s underwear and it sucks. But I guess I shouldn’t expect too much from a pair of panties. It wasn’t meant to be loved. It was meant to be worn. And then a new brand called Parade decided maybe that should change.

Stevie + Mada

Parade is an underwear brand I do love and, much like actual parades (which I also love), it’s a display of color and fun. Just imagine a group of girls who all look so incredibly different from one another, dancing in their technicolor thongs and briefs. That’s Parade. It’s expressive and sexy without the boundaries of something like Victoria Secret. Everyone and anyone can be a Parade girl and for just $9 at that. No wings or makeup or body standards needed. Parade’s underwear goes up to a size 3XL.

If the name doesn’t sound familiar, the actual underwear might look familiar. In New York, the colorful advertisements for Parade are plastered all over lower Manhattan and Brooklyn. If you saw a girl recently post an underwear selfie, she was probably wearing Parade. Selena Gomez wore the brand’s scarf, which you can purchase for $16 after you buy your first pairs of Parade undies, on her latest cover shoot. The brand has it and you definitely want to be seen in it. But unlike most trendy things, you actually like wearing it too.

Jacq Harriet

My first pair of Parade underwear had Swarovski crystals on it. It was the first time my left buttcheek has been bedazzled since my middle school Juicy Couture-tracksuit days and I loved it. But unlike those iconic days, my bedazzled bits weren’t on display for everyone to see. It was this fun thing I basically put on for myself. And let me say, starting the day applying makeup and ending the day laying on the couch in Swarovski studded underwear is a mood. One I would like everyone to experience. Especially because even though the underwear is so loud, I instantly forgot I had it on. It felt like a cushion when I sat and don’t we all need more crystal cushions in our lives? I think so.

Parade’s collaboration with Swarovski isn’t available anymore unfortunately, although they do have a new collection with Bite that’s all about matching your underwear to your lipstick. Less sparkly but definitely just as fun. And after washing and wearing my Swarovski Parade undies for weeks, I knew I had to try everything from Parade’s thong to its boyshort.

I loved them all like I loved my first pair of Parade underwear, deeply and passionately and extremely enthusiastically. Mostly because I’ve never found a pair that makes my big butt feel comfortable and sexy without awkward bunching or painful wedgies. Plus, just like every other girl on Instagram, these are the only underwear I’ve ever felt inclined to take a my-mom-wouldn’t-approve selfie in and post on the internet. Parade makes me feel so good, I want everyone to know.

Oh and I’ve let them know. If I’ve ever told you I loved you, I’ve also probably informed you I love my underwear too. And if that isn’t real love, then I don’t know what is.

Shop Parade’s underwear below.

Parade Thong Balloon

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com

Parade Cheeky Starry Sky

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com

Parade Brief Bite

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com

Parade Boyshort Icebreaker

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com

Parade Boyshort Colorblock

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com

Parade Thong Cherrybomb

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Shop now: $9; yourparade.com