Fashion Iskra Lawrence Is Pregnant, But She’s Not About to Give Up Crop Tops The model exclusively spoke with InStyle about maternity style, motherhood, and why she's having a home birth. By Samantha Sutton Samantha Sutton Instagram Samantha is InStyle's senior fashion editor. She joined the brand in 2019 and oversees the site's fashion coverage, including trend reporting, fashion exclusives, celebrity style interviews, and Fashion Week coverage. InStyle's editorial guidelines Updated on November 7, 2019 @ 05:45PM Pin Share Tweet Email Photo: LUCAS BARIOULET/Getty Images When Iskra Lawrence was spotted wearing a tight black dress recently, we knew there was something different about her: the model had a baby bump! She later confirmed the news via Instagram, holding up a First Response pregnancy test as her boyfriend, Philip Payne, kissed her cheek. “The beautiful thing is that Phillip did go and get me First Response pregnancy tests,” she told InStyle over the phone. “We were actually terrified, and I was crying because I was so scared, and thinking, ‘Is this how I imagined it was going to be?’ In the sense that I imagined this perfect moment that you are ready for and everything's in place. I was crying. I was like, ‘We don't live together yet. We're not married.'" After the initial shock wore off — something Lawrence touched on in her latest YouTube video — gratitude came rushing in. “It hit me. My best, best friend has had four rounds of IVF and experienced a miscarriage with twins, and immediately, all I could think about was, ‘Goodness, we managed to get pregnant naturally, without trying. This is an absolute gift.’” After seeing other people announce their pregnancies via paid promotions, Lawrence decided she would, too. Only this time, the plan would be to donate the money — $10,000, to be exact — to one couple who is struggling to conceive. While details on how to apply are still being ironed out (Lawrence is unsure if she wants it to be through video or letter), it’s the perfect partnership, since she says First Response partners with a handful of infertility charities as well. “I think it will be a beautiful moment where, as we are celebrating my pregnancy, we're also highlighting other women's journeys as well,” Lawrence tells us. “That's really the aim and how we want to conduct the giveaway, so that it's also helping other people relate. My pregnancy isn't relatable to everyone, whereas those other stories will hopefully help other people feel less alone, too.” Ahead, the model shares a few details on how she’s feeling, how her style has changed since becoming pregnant, and why she's planning on having a home birth. Ashley Graham Asked for Help Finding Maternity Workout Leggings —These 4 Are Highly Rated Was it hard for you to keep everything a secret? It was so, so hard. It gets harder, just in the sense that I didn't really have a bump until a week or so ago. I went to Texas and ate so many biscuits and fried chicken that I popped. Then it was definitely like, "Okay, I don't want to be hiding away or even changing the way I dressed." I'm feeling sexier and more beautiful than ever, and I really wanted to embrace that. Has your style changed since becoming pregnant at all? For a few occasions, I've tried to conceal my bump, but really, I've been loving it. I feel like I've even been wearing tighter things that are also comfortable and stretchy. I am usually a big fan of jeans, but I've not worn jeans for at least two, maybe three weeks now, and I don't think I'll be wearing them for a while unless I find some amazing maternity jeans. I'm really into my stretchy pants but trying to make them cute. I'm definitely still working the crop tops and going all out there. You’re an advocate for body positivity and self-love. Has that come into play as your body changes during this pregnancy? Oh, 100%. In fact, one of my best friends — we both work with the National Eating Disorders Association — she was the first person who was really like, "How are you feeling in your new body? How are you dealing with the changes that are happening? Is it triggering any distorted thoughts or body dysmorphia or anything like that?" And I was like, "Oh, thank you so much for asking." Everyone is so excited and they want us to think about the positives, but it’s true [your body is changing]. I'm very lucky because I am in such a confident, happy place, and I feel like I have a very supportive, loving partner. I’ve had these little — we were trying to see if there was a word for it online, but it's like the blood is coming to the top of my skin. Not a rash, almost looking like bruising, and that's because my circulation is really poor and I'm trying to get lots of blood, obviously, to my stomach area. It’s not stretchmarks yet, but it looks like bruising. I've had that almost since the beginning, I actually had it before I even realized I was pregnant. I was kind of like, "I wonder what's going on with my stomach. Oh well." That’s something I want to show and maybe if there's other moms out there that will relate to that. Can you tell us about your decision to have a home birth? I don't know too many people who have had home birth, except my grandma and my cousins, and I think people are like, "Oh, that's very different." I've always pictured a home birth, in a water bath, weirdly. And I'm so grateful, again, because not every partner would be down to do that. Phillip was just like, "Cool, perfect. How do we do that? What do you need? I'll be there every step of the way." We found our midwife the other week and she's really fantastic. She's like, "We're going to get you in tip-top shape and have you prepared so that it's a prevention rather than hopefully anything happening on the day." Raymond Hall Are you going to document more of your pregnancy on YouTube? Our first video goes into the detail about how we found out, how we felt, and how we supported each other, because we both were fearful of different things. We didn't pretend it was perfect or were like, "Oh, I didn't want to say something because...Would that be the wrong timing?" We got everything off of our chests, and we were very honest with each other, which really has helped. We've been reading our books and we're going to do our best, but we're not going to pretend it's going to be perfect, you know? Is there something seemingly silly that you're excited about when it comes to motherhood? We're constantly laughing about the fact that I'm planning on like, stealing the baby away and making sure that it says English things. He’s just like, "That's not going to happen. Peer pressure." They're going to go to school and everyone's going to be like, "Why are you calling our porridge? Or why are you calling the trash can a bin?" But I'm adamant. I'm like, "No, no, no. Our baby's going to say English things too." Are you talking about names? My mom's very opinionated. We had a name that we quite liked and my mom literally just shut that down. She was like, "Nope, nope. This won't be good." I feel a lot of pressure because my parents did an amazing job with my creative name. So I'm now under pressure. Otherwise, my baby's going to be like, "Really mom? You're called Iskra and I'm called...?" Do you have anything else to share? I think — I've only felt it two different times — I think I felt the first flutters maybe about four or five days ago. And that's a really special, surreal experience. It was like a tickle from the inside and it happened and then it stopped. It happened two more times and I didn't feel it again until the next day. And I think that's what it was, but it was like nothing you've ever felt before. So that's very exciting.