"No amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused."

By Alicia Brunker
Jul 05, 2020 @ 1:55 pm
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UPDATE: Mandy Moore has responded to Ryan Adams's apology, telling the Today Show, "It’s challenging because I feel like in many ways I’ve said all I want to say about him and that situation. But I find it curious that someone would make a public apology but not do it privately. I am speaking for myself, but I have not heard from him, and I’m not looking for an apology necessarily. But I do find it curious that someone would do an interview about it without actually making amends privately."

After her statement made news, Moore urged people to focus on "real news," like that of Breonna Taylor's case

More than a year after being accused of emotional and sexual abuse by at least a dozen women in a New York Times exposé — including his ex-wife Mandy Moore and singer Phoebe Bridgers — Ryan Adams has finally broken his silence.

In an open letter to The Daily Mail, the musician apologized for his "harmful behavior" toward women and to those he's "mistreated" throughout his life.

"There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I've mistreated people throughout my life and career," Adams began his message. "All I can say is that I'm sorry. It's that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life."

He continued, "Realizing the consequences of my actions, I took a hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them. What pain was I carrying myself that was so poorly and wrongly being projected onto others? I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall."

As a significant step to confronting his "demons," Adams revealed he's newly sober and has prioritized self-care. "In my effort to be a better man, I have fought to get sober, but this time I'm doing it with professional help," he said. "Sobriety is a priority in my life, and so is my mental health. These, as I'm learning, go hand in hand."

Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

"That being said, no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior, and will be for my actions moving forward," he admitted, adding that he hopes his accusers will "find a way" to forgive him.

Following the publication of the Times report — which Adams categorized as "upsettingly inaccurate" at the time — the FBI opened an investigation into the singer's alleged communications with an underage girl, and as a result, his album and tour dates were pulled.