"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."

Nov 25, 2020 @ 7:50 am
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Meghan Markle is opening up about a recent miscarriage she suffered back in July. In a moving essay for the New York Times, the Duchess spoke about the moment she knew she had lost her pregnancy.

"It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib," she began.

Markle continued, "After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."

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She then goes on to explain that she and Harry went to the hospital in Santa Barbara where she recalled the moment when her son Archie was a newborn and a journalist famously asked her if she was "ok."

"I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering," she explained. "My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself."

She went on to discuss how that question came up again, in another pivotal moment. "Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heartbreak as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'" Markle wrote.

Markle explained that talking about pain, specifically, the one she is suffering from can be life changing. "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage," she continued. "Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."

In the end, after talking about how this is going to be a difficult holiday season, Markle concluded, "For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another. Are we OK? We will be.”