He said his first year of marriage was "really tough."

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After two weddings, a documentary, and plenty of paparazzi photos showing them hand-in-hand, it's easy to imagine Justin Bieber and his wife, Hailey Baldwin, living in a fantasy of marital bliss. In a new interview with GQ, Bieber explained that any assumptions of an easy marriage are completely false, because he noted that the first year together was "really tough" and cited a "lack of trust" for the rocky beginning.

Bieber and Baldwin got married in September 2018 at a New York City courthouse before having a bigger ceremony in South Carolina a year later. But he noted that before the wedding, he'd just endured a period of drugs, drinking, and public scandal, so he didn't trust himself to open up completely and be himself.

"The first year of marriage was really tough, because there was a lot, going back to the trauma stuff," he said. "There was just lack of trust. There was all these things that you don't want to admit to the person that you're with, because it's scary. You don't want to scare them off by saying, 'I'm scared.'"

Justin Bieber Hailey Baldwin
Credit: Marc Piasecki / Contributor

Bieber credits his wife and his faith for keeping him stable and focused. Before he met Baldwin, he says that he knew that he wanted to get married and have kids, but also feels like the two of them have plenty of time to get to that.

"It's beautiful that we have that to look forward to. Before, I didn't have that to look forward to in my life," he said. "My home life was unstable. Like, my home life was not existing. I didn't have a significant other. I didn't have someone to love. I didn't have someone to pour into. But now I have that."

Bieber finished by saying that he sees that period of self-doubt as an opportunity for growth. He wanted to talk about it so that other people could see it the same way.

"I don't want to let my shame of my past dictate what I'm able to do now for people. A lot of people let their past weigh them down, and they never do what they want to do because they think that they're not good enough," he said. "But I'm just like: 'I did a bunch of stupid shit. That's okay. I'm still available. I'm still available to help. And I'm still worthy of helping.'"