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"Then she gets to work, making some more vagina eggs."

By Kimberly Truong
Apr 05, 2021 @ 9:42 am
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Apple Martin, Cool Teen Daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, is using TikTok as it was intended — to roast her mother (all while helping to promote Paltrow's brand, Goop, of course).

In a TikTok video for Goop, the 16-year-old narrated her mom's morning routine, which apparently begins with the Goop Glow Morning Skin Superpowder.

"And she eats nothing except for dates and almond butter, so she will have that" she said. "I suppose the Goop Glow is a part of her cleanse, which she's been on since... the day I was born, apparently."

As the video shows Paltrow walking into her bathroom for her skincare routine, her daughter jokes, "It's 8 a.m., and she's been doing this since 7 a.m. She just prances around the bathroom, putting on her millions of Goop Glow products for her glowing skin."

"Then she gets to work, making some more vagina eggs," Apple added, referencing Goop's famous vaginal eggs. "And candles, also vagina candles, and vagina perfumes. Just everything vagina."

Suffice to say, the Paltrow-Martin household is not lacking in self-awareness. Welcome to TikTok, Apple.