"I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it."

By Tessa Petak
Apr 14, 2021 @ 8:26 am

Colton Underwood, former lead of The Bachelor, has come out as gay. On Monday, Underwood opened up about his sexuality to Robin Roberts during a Good Morning America exclusive interview.

"I've ran from myself for a long time," he told Roberts. "I've hated myself for a long time ... and I'm gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it.  And the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know."

He also opened up about the emotional toll it was taking on him. "I got into a place for me in my personal life that was dark and bad and I can list a bunch of different things but they'd all be excuses ... I would have rather died than say I'm gay and I think that was sort of my wake-up call."

And he admitted to having suicidal thoughts and a moment where he thought about taking his life. "There was a moment in L.A. where I woke up and I didn't think I was going to wake up. I didn't have the intention of waking up and I did. And I think for me that was my wake-up call ... this is your life, take back control."

He added that since accepting himself, he's the "happiest and healthiest" he's ever been, and he's no longer struggling with suicidal thoughts.

During Underwood's season of The Bachelor, his virginity played a big part in the storyline of his season. At the end of his season, he chose Cassie Randolph, but the two never got engaged. The two broke up last year during the Covid-19 lockdown. Underwood's memoir "The First Time," also came out in March 2020, in which he chronicled his struggle with his sexuality, but wrote that The Bachelor helped him realize he wasn't gay.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text Crisis Text Line at 741-741.