"It was the safe and expected thing."

By Christopher Luu
Mar 26, 2021 @ 6:05 pm
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It lasted 64 days. Demi Lovato and her then-boyfriend, Max Ehrich, got engaged and almost as suddenly as it happened, the two called it off. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Lovato explained that she had gotten engaged in an effort to "prove to the world" that she was stable after her overdose in 2018

She explained that getting engaged "fooled" her because she thought it took her to a place that was "safe and expected." However, reflecting on the situation, Lovato, who was speaking about her YouTube documentaryDancing With the Devil and her upcoming album, Dancing With the Devil ... the Art of Starting Over, she realized when she took off her engagement ring that it wasn't something she needed.

Demi Lovato
Credit: Rich Fury / Staff

"I really had myself fooled," Demi said, "because it was the safe and expected thing. Obviously I cared deeply about the person. But there was something inside of me that was like, 'I have to prove to the world that I'm OK.'"

The engagement — and the engagement ring — were nothing more than a "false sense of security," she continued, 

"Now that I'm not engaged or married and I'm OK, I'm like, 'Wow. Isn't that so much more empowering?' It's not this false sense of security," she said. She added that the ring wasn't what she needed to feel like she was moving in the right direction. 

"The second it was off, I was like, 'You know what? I'm good. I don't need that. I just don't need an object on my finger to make me feel like I've got my shit together," she explained. "It looks like stability, but it doesn't mean that it is. And I don't actually grow through stability. I find that I like living not in chaos or crisis, but in fluidity. It's not [being] stuck and stagnant in an ideal or a tradition that was placed upon us by the patriarchy."

Lovato does reference the engagement in the documentary. She reiterated that it just felt like something she "was supposed to do" and after it happened, she came to realize she didn't really know her fiancé.

"I think I rushed into something that I thought was what I was supposed to do," Demi says in one episode. "I realized as time went on that I didn't actually know the person that I was engaged to."