11 Thoughts We Had While Re-Watching Crossroads
The road trip film of our generation, Crossroads, is turning 15 this year. It feels like just yesterday that we were waiting for the newest episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch to air while we organized our ribbed tube top collection and doodled in our Lisa Frank notebooks. But, alas, 2002 was a decade-and-a-half ago.
For many of us, the release of Crossroads was major. (I mean, who didn't appreciate the lyrical genius of "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"?) I remember worrying that my mother wouldn’t let me watch it—I had already been barred from re-watching Bring It On and I didn’t think I could take another cinematic loss. Britney was sharing a hotel room with a boy! Her teenage friend was pregnant! It was all very risqué.
Like most films from my youth, I found myself idealizing Crossroads into adulthood. “It’s a cultural snapshot of times gone by,” I’d tell my friends—but, of course, I hadn’t seen the film since I was about 8-years-old, a time in which I wore temporary Britney Spears tattoos without a hint of irony.
With the 15-year-anniversary upon us, I decided it was due time to revisit the early aughts classic. And in doing so, I realized that Crossroads is not quite the cinematic masterpiece I thought it was.
VIDEO: Britney Spears's Style Transformation
Regardless, I’m still living for every frame. Here’s some reactions I had and observations I made while watching Crossroads 15 years past its prime.
Zoe Saldana Is the Queen of Bold Eye Shadow
Look at that incredible royal blue shadow. Can you think of literally anyone else who could pull that off while still looking remotely sane? I cannot. Why Saldana is not a spokesmodel for Urban Decay, I have no idea. Okay, and don't even get me started on the canary yellow lids ... Get this girl her own makeup line!
This Bucket Hat Belongs In a Museum
BRING. BACK. THE. CANVAS. BUCKET. HAT. Britney rocks this hat not once, but twice in the movie, and it’s equally delightful each time. If you can make a canvas bucket hat look legitimately chic, what can’t you do?
Did Kevin Federline Ever Watch This?
I really want to imagine Britney and K-Fed screening Crossroads in their home theater circa 2005. Just picture it, that’s all I ask.
Mimi's (Taryn Manning) Bandana Collection Is Everything
Crossroads’ feisty pregnant teen is basically Orange Is the New Black’s Pennsatucky pre-meth (had she harbored an era-appropriate love of bandanas, of course). P.S.: It's very possible Mimi only wears one bandana in the film, but you must admit, a single bandana goes a very long way in 2017.
Lucy (Britney Spears) Is the Actual Worst Friend
The entire road trip is inspired by Mimi’s (Taryn Manning) passion for music, yet when she’s overcome by stage fright during the iconic karaoke bar scene, Lucy (Britney Spears) steps up to steal the spotlight. OK, this is understandable given the circumstances (they needed tip money!) but Mimi’s dream is never revisited. When the trio performs in the talent contest at the end of the movie (again: Mimi’s entire motivation behind the road trip), Britney takes the lead once more. Is this not insanely rude? Keep in mind, this is days after Mimi lost her baby—we think a star turn would’ve been a great pick-me-up.
Whatever Happened to Shania Twain?
During a particularly sweet road trip moment, the Crossroads gang jams out to country classic “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.” I mean, who hasn’t had a BFF sing-along to that song? NO ONE. So, um, where’s Shania Twain been? She hasn’t released an album in nearly ten years and we’re dying for more.
Before Shondaland, There Was Crossroads
Yes, you read the credits correctly, Shonda Rhimes wrote Crossroads—it was one of her first-ever writing projects (she also wrote The Princess Diaries 2, FYI). We’re still waiting on that Scandal-Crossroads crossover ep, Shonda.
Britney's Love Interest Has Gray Hair Now
If this post hasn't yet succeeded in making you feel incredibly old, this might:
Was Britney Method-Acting?
We want to believe that Britney was channeling her feelings for then boyfriend Justin Timberlake into her romantic performance. All we have is hope.
Why Isn't Justin Long Good Enough?
Justin Long plays Lucy’s nerdy lab partner who she almost loses her virginity to on graduation night. At the last minute, she decides she wants her first time to be special and blows him off. When I re-watched this scene, I started hoping that Justin Long would be the film’s dark horse love interest. Spoiler alert: He’s not. I’ve seen enough rom-coms to know that the adorable nerd should always get the girl—Crossroads defies this formula, and I’m not happy about it. Big mistake, Brit.
Can We Bring Back the Butterfly Clip, Please?
Britney wears them so well, and so would we.